[Ansteorra] Newbie Status

[Samantha Smith]

To respond to one point amongst a whole constellation:

On Mon, Feb 22, 2010 at 6:19 AM, Coblaith Muimnech
<Coblaith at sbcglobal.net>wrote:
>
> So which is it:  should I talk to everyone like they already know who
> Claire is and where "the Georgetown site" is, or tell Daniel both those
> things every time we discuss Candlemas, even though he's as familiar with
> both as I am?  One approach to every conversation I can handle.  Let's just
> agree on which one's the one.


I'm not sure how this makes sense. I speak to my grandmother differently
than I speak to the Baron. I speak to my boss at work differently than I
speak to Claire. I speak to people as they'd prefer to be spoken to as often
as I can -- that's one approach to every conversation. In particular, this
one would be 'If I'm not sure someone knows something important, make sure
they do.'

I'm painfully shy when it comes to meeting new people and even I have (I
think) successfully managed to integrate comfortably. I know where the
Georgetown site is. I know who Claire is -- I can even tell the difference
between Claire and not-Claire. But that fellow over there? I'm not sure what
he knows. He's wearing a nice tunic, but it might be from the Hospitaler.
He's not wearing a circlet or any awards dangling from his belt, but that
doesn't necessarily mean much. If I am talking to him about Candlemas, I
might say "It'll be at the Georgetown site -- do you happen to know where
that is?"

If he doesn't know where the Georgetown site is, though, that doesn't mean
he's a raw recruit. He could be the king of Drachenwald here for a visit,
and if I assume that he's fresh off the turnip wagon and start lecturing him
on precedence, well, I'd be lucky to get a whack on the noggin.

In my experience, most of us relative newcomers are easily recognized by the
expression of amiable confusion. At my first Bryn Gwlad Baronial event, I
screwed up my courage and asked the remarkable woman who'd just left the
field about heavy fighting -- did more women do it than just her? What was
it like? It looked rather dangerous, after all. That was a pretty good
indication that I was not exactly experienced around here, and that shy
inquiry has led to a strong friendship.

The comparison to coronets or Pelican medallions or the like is, however, a
little less strong than it could be. A Pelican medallion, for example, is an
award. It's a sign of accomplishments and service stretching back for years.
A newcomer's medallion is just a label, and most of the people who would
wear it might find the label a little unflattering. If I see someone wearing
a white belt, it's a sign that they know something about courtesy and they
know something about fighting. If I see someone wearing a newcomer's
medallion, it's a sign that they can't be expected to know anything.

I quite like the idea of bringing newcomers up into court: it introduces
them to the local citizens and shows them off. I would have been a little
terrified, but the fact that I had just spent a day with these people would
ease my terror somewhat. I'd always thought, though, that the job of making
sure a newcomer felt welcome began with the Hospitaler and continued with
absolutely everybody else. That's the way it was when I joined: in short
order I was being introduced to people interested in music, the fiber arts,
and anything else that took my fancy. My shyness was lifted away by the
sheer volume of people who would merrily talk my ear off about their
favorite hobbies. I was shown around like a new puppy, and though it was all
a little confusing at the start (and for the first year, and even now) I
wasn't scared away. A medallion to show everyone I was new wasn't at all
necessary: before long, everybody knew me.

Just my two ducats (what? My opinions are worth a lot)

Sophie