[Fwd: FW: Fruitcake Recipe (fwd)]

dennis grace amazing at mail.utexas.edu
Sun Dec 15 21:03:58 PST 1996

Greetings, Cosyns,

Lyonel here.  Happy Solstice.  This recipe, as you can see by all the carets
(>>>) has been forwarded almost as much as an actual fruitcake.  

>>> World Famous Fruitcake Recipe
>>> *Ingredients:*
>>> one cup water
>>> one cup sugar
>>> four large eggs
>>> two cups of dried fruit
>>> one teaspoon baking soda
>>> one teaspoon salt
>>> one cup brown sugar
>>> lemon juice
>>> nuts
>>> one bottle whiskey
>>> Sample the whiskey to check for quality.  Take a large bowl.  Check the
>>> whiskey again.  To be sure the whiskey is the highest quality, pour one
>>> level cup and drink straight down.  Repeat.  Turn on the electric mixer,
>>> beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add one teaspoon of sugar
>>> and beat again.
>>> Make sure the whiskey has not gone bad.  Cry another tup.  Turn off the
>>> mixer.  Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
>>> fruit.  Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
>>> pry it loose with a screwdriver.
>>> Sample the whiskey for toxisicity.  Next, sift two cups of salt.  Or
>>> something.  Who cares?  Check the whiskey.  Now sift the lemon juice and
>>> strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Spoon.  Of sugar or something.  Whatever
>>> you can find.
>>> Grease the oven.  Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.  Don't forget to beat
>>> off the turner.  Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey one
>>> last time and go to bed.

Bon Appetit!

Sir Lyonel

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