[Fwd: FW: Fruitcake Recipe (fwd)]
amazing at mail.utexas.edu
Sun Dec 15 21:03:58 PST 1996
Lyonel here. Happy Solstice. This recipe, as you can see by all the carets
(>>>) has been forwarded almost as much as an actual fruitcake.
>>> World Famous Fruitcake Recipe
>>> one cup water
>>> one cup sugar
>>> four large eggs
>>> two cups of dried fruit
>>> one teaspoon baking soda
>>> one teaspoon salt
>>> one cup brown sugar
>>> lemon juice
>>> one bottle whiskey
>>> Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the
>>> whiskey again. To be sure the whiskey is the highest quality, pour one
>>> level cup and drink straight down. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer,
>>> beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar
>>> and beat again.
>>> Make sure the whiskey has not gone bad. Cry another tup. Turn off the
>>> mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
>>> fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
>>> pry it loose with a screwdriver.
>>> Sample the whiskey for toxisicity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or
>>> something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and
>>> strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever
>>> you can find.
>>> Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat
>>> off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey one
>>> last time and go to bed.
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