Peer Fear

Baker, Mike mbaker at
Mon Dec 23 08:34:00 PST 1996

Your Excellency,
     I have just dispatched a chiding response to Estrill, one that your 
words make me realize may come across as harsh or uncaring. Please, believe 
me when I say that they are not intended as either.
     I do not believe that I have the pleasure of having made your 
acquaintance previously. I have no doubt that those who surround you in 
Bonwicke care for you greatly and will support you well. Let them! (And 
maybe we all can consider this discussion again in a couple of years in a 
much different light.)
     I believe that I would not myself generally be considered shy, at least 
within the SCA context. Hey, I've publically reminded a duchess that there 
ARE other Highlands than those in Scotland - and more than once. However, 
none of this means that I am always perfectly comfortable in social 
settings, either. HG Willow I was introduced to long ago, and there are 
still topics that we disagree upon that I would never bring up in her 
presence. There are certain topics or situations where I am as completely 
tang-toungled as the shyest, most inexperienced, newcomer in the Society.
     A (one) difference is that I have learned through experience that I 
will survive, that most honest mistakes will be accepted as just that, and 
that I have a whack of a lot more fun by being there among the active / 
"important" folk - even if I am just listening from where I lean upon my 
staff in the outer periphery.

Amr ibn Majid al-Bakri al-Amra
     currently residing in Barony of the Steppes, Kingdom of Ansteorra
Mike C. Baker                      mbaker at
Any opinions expressed are obviously my own unless explicitly stated 

From: ansteorra
To: ansteorra
Subject: Re: Peer Fear
Date: Monday, December 23, 1996 8:00AM

Dear Esrill, I am one of those shy people that you discribed so well. I have
also done the hide-in-the-tent thing altho not in the last couple of years.
One of the things that I am grateful to the SCA for doing is it seems to 
taken somewhat of an edge off of my shyness. I still have trouble 
people occasionally but fortunately folks are more apt to start the
conversation with me now. This gives me a starting place in the conversation
and a little time to "get into personna" . Please people remember, even 
can be shy. Not all of us have gotten here by being an in-your- face kind of
person. What you may persieve as " stuck-up" could simply be a shy person
struggling with their instinct to "run away".  A little understanding goes a
long way. My dear Estrill, I would like you to know that the writing of this
has my stomach in knots also . Thank you for having the "guts" to write your
letter and allowing me the excuse to join in. Take care, friend.

                                                               Happy Yule,
Bonwicke }

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