peer fear

[Mjccmc01 at aol.com]

First, many thanks to Countess Berengaria for starting such an interesting
thread!

I have to confess -- I've been a Laurel for 8 years now, and no one would
call me shy, but there are some peers who scare the bejeezus out of me, but
upon reflection, I think they'd scare me whether they were peers or
not.......

Several times I have tried to approach new or shy people, with mixed results.
 On one occasion, I walked up to a young lady in a very nicely done
Elizabethan and started a conversation about her tailor.  She turned crimson,
looked agonized, and replied, "I can't do this type of thing," and fled.
 Never one to take "go to hell" for an answer, I followed the lady,
apologized for causing her discomfort, and complimented her clothing.  She
now will occasionally even initiate a conversation with me.  However, this
experience has led me to believe that sometimes truly shy people don't
particularly want to be singled out, and in fact, an intended act of
graciousness can have a quite different effect.  

An approach that the household I was "brung up in" in Meridies had an
excellent method:  The various associates in the household (who were
presumably less intimidating the the peers who headed it) were sent out to
find one or two unattached, new souls and invite them to eat with the
household.  I've always wanted to adopt the tradition myself, but my
apprentices terminally overcommit and rarely sit down through a feast.
 Please, anyone interested feel free to swipe the idea.

Best wishes to all for a wonderful new year!

Mistress Siobhan