Newbie Intros

[Kathri at aol.com]

In a previous message aceia at onr.com (Robin Gammon) wrote:

<<  There is talk here in  of  painting a gold key on all loaner garb. This
way people could recognize a new person at an event >>

If you do this, I suggest using a basted-on badge, and making it voluntary on
the part of the newcomer.  When we discussed doing this we discovered that
many of our newcomers didn't want to be instantly identifiable as 'new'.
 (Maybe they'd had to listen to too many persona stories?)  They preferred to
lurk quietly, and it worked for them. 

<<and not condemn them for their lack of period garb or inappropriate
manners.  >>
Instead of worrying your newcomers, try working on anyone that does this. It
should never be done. To anyone. Never. It is discourteous and dishonorable
and puts the lie to everything we should be trying to teach newcomers and
everything we should be trying to be.  Anyone who can't figure out a
courteous way to make suggestions should be taught.  Forcibly if necessary.
 If you don't want to, identify them to me.  I'll be glad to work on them.
 Most of the people I know in AEthelmearc are rapier fighters, and would be
glad to help make the point.  (pause for groans) 

We do warn our newcomers that they may run into uncouth behaviour of this
sort; we  tell them to ID the loud-mouth to one of several specific people so
the problem - the discourtesy -- can be dealt with.  As far as what is said,
they are told to ignore it or ask someone who knows and can explain gently.

We try to do 'newcomer households' - really orientation meetings that meet
for a couple of hours a week for several weeks and go over basic vocabulary,
geography, practices, garb, etc.  Some are sponsored by the barony; some form
casually.  During that time, the 'fostering' members can answer questions
that come up and make an effort to get the newcomers connected with guilds,
meetings, teachers, or others that they are interested in.  It helps.

>>  I think that this idea could be extended to key pendants and/or belt
favors. >>
Be careful with this because of the association of keys with the offices of
seneschal and hospitaler.  Pity the newcomer who is mistaken for a seneschal!

>> I know that you get tired of hearing about the other groups, but this is
all I have to go on right now.>>
Just be courteous in your phrasing and tone and it should be OK. People want
to feel that you like their group, not trying to make them change or
regretting that you're not in some other group.   Instead of "In this other
group they...."  try "Have you ever thought of ....."  or "I've heard about
...."  or "Maybe we could .....".  

>>She also mentioned that this would be good so that if you were approached
by someone wearing the key who had a question; you would know that they are
new and perhaps you could give a little more information than you normally
would. >>

*That's* a good idea.  It would help to tailor our responses.  Newcomers who
don't want to wear the key can be taught to say "I'm new.  Give me more
details" or ".. I didn't follow that" or "... Say that in 20th-century
English."  Meanwhile I guess I'll just keep watching for the glazed eyes or
puckered brow, and then checking to see whether it's too much information or
needs to be put into modern terms.  (As you can tell by the length of this, I
don't have problems giving too little information. I hope this helps more
than it bores.)

Kathri