Renaissance Fest '96 (fwd)
pug at interval.net
Fri Oct 4 07:41:01 PDT 1996
The Top 17 Signs You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival
17. The castle and village are made entirely of Legos.
16. Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to Cocker Spaniel leg.
15. Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest."
14. Eight minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves."
13. "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi
and fresh California Roll!"
12. Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes.
11. The meade is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw.
10. Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School
of British Accents.
9. Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels.
8. You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge.
7. Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation.
6. Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off.
5. Featured event: "(sorry, questionable material)-Jousting!"
4. Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando.
3. "Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?"
2. Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!"
and the Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival...
1. Jousting Crips & Bloods.
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