Taking Insult for Others

Vicki Marsh zarazena at io.com
Mon Oct 14 13:00:03 PDT 1996

Mistress Gunnora,

  There is no one in the whole SCA who is
>"common" unless they choose to be so.  

Thank you for expressing these thoughts so eloquently. Every single man,
woman,  and child has the ability to be "noble".  And a brass hat or the
insignia of peerage does not make one "noble".  It is the heart of courtesy
and chivalry, of honesty and openess, of loving and giving without
expectation of reward that lifts an individual out of the "common" crowd.

  The most that it is reasonable for a friend to do is to inform me
>of what's going on so that I can decide whether or not I am insulted or not,
>and whether or not I should speak to the person in question.
Non-confrontation is unhealthy. People need to communicate with each other
when they have a problem, even if it is to agree to disagree. I have had the
unfortunate times when I have had to address issues with people.  It is
sometimes painful, but like a festering sore, it won't heal until it is
lanced and cleaned.

>Running around bitching at people for having an opinion you don't like is a
>waste of time and creates more strife in the organization.  
 But you've gone and taken offense on account of someone else,
>thus letting yourself get into the middle of someone else's battle.  If you
>spend much time battling on behalf of others, you will find you don't have a
>life of your own, you will be contributing to intra-organizational strife,
>and you'll end up with hurt feelings that you could have avoided by letting
>the principals in the matter take care of it themselves.  

Ditto.....I have known people that did not have a life, except to be the
eternal "busy-body"...for the good of the shire/barony/kingdom, of
course....Funny how they don't seem to last very long in a group when people
get fed up with them and their constant machinations.  

In Service,

Zara Zena Theanos, Baroness of Elfsea

BTW, in response to another topic from a week ago, The Baronies of Elfsea
and Steppes get along just fine, thank you.  We actually have a lot of
people who "crossover", working at events and attending classes/fighter
practices in both Baronies.  Baron Edwin and I are old friends, and I trust
that if he had any problem with Elfsea, he would mince no words with me, nor
I with him if the reverse were true.  Our Baronies benefit from each other,
in many ways (kind of a symbiotic relationship).

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