ANST - A Snow Diary... (fwd) (PG-13)

[Dennis and/or Dory Grace]

Salut, Cozyns,

Lyonel aisai.

An old friend from up north sent us this cheery reminder of why we moved
down here.  :^>  My apologies for the preponderance of Anglo-Saxon terms in
this missive.

>For all those waiting for that white Christmas.
>
>>-----------------------------
>>
>>A SNOW DIARY
>>
>>DECEMBER 4 - 5:00  It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
>>the wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the window watching
>>the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the
>>ground. It was beautiful.
>>
>>DECEMBER 9 - We woke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
>>covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. I shoveled snow for the
>>first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our
>>sidewalk. Later, the snowplow came along and covered up our driveway with
>>compacted snow from the street, He smiled and I waved back. I shoveled it
>>again.
>>
>>DECEMBER 13 - The sun melted most of our snow. Oh well, I'm sure we'll
>>get more before this lovely winter is through.
>>
>>DECEMBER 14 - It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped
>>to about 0. I shoveled the sidewalk and driveway again. Shortly, the
>>snowplow came by and did his trick again.
>>
>>DECEMBER 15 - Sold our car and bought a 4 x 4 Blazer, so we could get
>>around in the snow. Bought snow tires for the pickup.
>>
>>DECEMBER 18 - Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway. $139.00 to the
>>Chiropractor, but nothing was broken, Thank God. The damned sky is
>>getting dark again.
>>
>>DECEMBER 19 - Still cold, icy roads, making driving very tough. Slid into
>>a guard rail with my wife's car. Probably $2,000 damage or so. She's
>>really pissed off...
>>
>>December 20 - Had another 11 inches of the white shit last night. More
>>shoveling in store for me today. The goddamn snowplow came by twice.
>>
>>DECEMBER 22 - We are assured of a white Christmas, because another 7
>>inches of that white shit fell today and with this freezing weather, it
>>won't melt until August. I got dressed up to go out and shovel that shit
>>again (boots, jumpsuit, jacket, scarf, earmuffs, gloves, etc.) then I got
>>the urge to pee.
>>
>>DECEMBER 24 - If I ever catch that son of a bitch that drives the
>>snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides
>>around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then comes
>>down the street 100 miles and hour and throws that white shit everywhere.
>>
>>DECEMBER 25 - MERRY CHRISTMAS!! They predict 12 more inches of this
>>fucking white shit tonight. Does anyone know how many goddamn shovelfuls
>>of snow 12 inches are?? The hell with Santa, he doesn't have to shovel
>>this shit. The snowplow came by asking for a donation. I hit him with my
>>snow shovel. The doctors think he'll live.
>>
>>DECEMBER 28 - We got 11 more inches. I've begun hearing a tiny voice in
my >>sleep that says, "No two are exactly alike."  We're trapped here.  For
some >>reason, no one plows the snow on our block anymore.  I must be going
>>snowblind; I keep running into things.  Either the my wife took the
blazer >>and left me, or they've both been swallowed by snowdrifts.
>>
>>DECEMBER 29 - The toilet froze, icicles snapped the power lines, and the
roof >>is starting to cave in. If you go outside don't eat the brown snow.
I can't >>feel my toes.  
>>
>>DECEMBER 30 - I torched the fucking house and moved to Austin.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

lo vostre por vos servir,

Sir Lyonel Oliver Grace
_____________________________
Dennis Grace
University of Texas at Austin
English Department
Recovering Medievalist
mailto:amazing at mail.utexas.edu

Micel yfel deth se unwritere.
                           AElfric of York
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