Sex and Temper Tantrums (was Reply to Galen: Condoms)

Mjccmc01 at Mjccmc01 at
Tue Jul 22 12:32:08 PDT 1997

Siobhan here.

Of course, the fundamental difference between temper tantrums/unchivalrous
behavior/remarks at events and sex at events is that bad behavior is
inflicted on individuals who have not consented to it, whereas sex takes
place between two (or more) consenting adults.  (Likewise, condoms are
voluntarily put on; from my limited knowledge of chastity belts, I don't
believe the ladies wearing them had much of a choice.)

Thus, I think we do have an obligation to speak out against offensive
behavior when it is being imposed on others against their will.  (And no, I
don't think coming to an event constitutes "consent" to temper tantrums,
etc., even though, these days, there's a better-than-average  chance of that
occurring.)  In my mind, this is somehow associated with the "defend the
weak" ideal.  While a person who is being yelled at is not necessarily weak,
they are a victim of bad behavior.  Thus, our ideals come into play, and
action is necessary.

Sex (or any other activity) between consenting adults is, to be redundant,
consensual activity.  I can think of a number of activities that I find
revolting, (and PLEASE do not feel a need to start a thread on this) but the
people engaged in them seem to be enjoying themselves and not hurting anyone.
 Do we have a right to intervene when someone's conduct is abhorrent to us,
but is legal and perfectly acceptable to the parties participating in it?
 Permit me to suggest, friends, that in that direction lies the Inquisition.

As a parent, I constantly find myself walking the tightrope between
instilling in Matt the values and qualities I believe are essential to a good
life, and at the same time encouraging him to be tolerant and caring toward
people who don't share my beliefs.  (Sample question:  Mommy, if Jesus is the
Son of God, and Alfred [his Muslim friend] doesn't believe in him, isn't he
wrong?  Shouldn't I try to stop him from believing that?)  BTW, my answer was
no, but I'm sure similar subjects will come up, and I am happy to accept
advice on this question.  

It seems to me the condom question is a variation on this theme, just as it
is a variation on the elf/vampire question and several of the issues
confronting us in the nation as a whole.   Perhaps the key is to view
tolerance as inherently different from approval.


Obviously feeling philosophical,

Msts. Siobhan

"Eppur, si muove"

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