ANST - You know you're Castle Trash if.... (fwd)
Michael F. Gunter
mfgunter at fnc.fujitsu.com
Tue Dec 15 08:05:51 PST 1998
I got this off of a Humor mailing list. Kinda fun
and for once it isn't another "12-Days of Christmas"
spoof.
Yours,
Gunthar
===================================================
You know you're Castle Trash if......
(slightly risqué, the sensitive should avoid )
Your shroud of Turin is painted on velvet
Your daughter's chastity belt has rusted
You can't afford a cod piece................nobody notices
You have more sheep dogs than sheep
You sold your only horse to buy that jousting lance you just had to have...
The plague improved your complexion...........but only for a little while
The Pope sends you to the Crusades...........in Norway
Your armor is made from that foil that came with your chewing gum
Your wife is stronger than your plow horse...but the horse is prettier
The grail you brought home has "made in China" printed on the bottom
Your wife says you have the smallest turret in the kingdom
You won "most improved " at the tournament
They call your daughter made Marian
Your family crest is a chicken with a banner that says "peace before
discomfort"
Your sheep seem strangely nervous around your oldest son
Your skullery maids laugh out loud when you call Edward The First ,"big Ed"
The Following were submitted by our visitors:
You know you're castle trash if you're war tent says Wal-Mart on the top
flap
submitted by Anthony Davis
You have to polish your own lance....a lot.
submitted by Mike Nicholls
Your portcullis is painted fluorescent lime green
The torture chamber equipment is by "Acme Inc."
The moat is full of old carriage tires
submitted by The Mews
Your hennin (pointed female headdress) is made out newspaper.
Your jeweled sword handle consists of multi-colored jellybeans and macaroni.
submitted by Dragon's Whisper
you have at least one suit of horse armor on blocks in your front yard
You have the smithy weld a special pocket on your armor for your chew
You have a sword rack behind the driver's seat on your carriage
You don't understand why inbreeding in the monarchy is a problem
You have many types of siege engines in your collection....only one or two
work
You had to have the serfs remove the wheels from your castle
Submitted by Katherine J.H.
The only dragon you've defeated is a purple one named Barney
Submitted by David F./ Barbara H.
Flushing the toilet disturbs the ducks in your moat.
Submitted by Byron the Bard
The sword in the sword rack of your carriage is rusted to the rack.
Submitted by Robin S. Wills
(This was found at http://www.clipartcastle.com/joke.htm . There is also
some great clip art at this site)
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