ANST - You know you're Castle Trash if.... (fwd)

[Michael F. Gunter]

I got this off of a Humor mailing list. Kinda fun
and for once it isn't another "12-Days of Christmas"
spoof.

Yours,

Gunthar
===================================================


You know you're Castle Trash if......
(slightly risqué, the sensitive should avoid )

Your shroud of Turin is painted on velvet

Your daughter's chastity belt has rusted

You can't afford a cod piece................nobody notices

You have more sheep dogs than sheep

You sold your only horse to buy that jousting lance you just had to have...

The plague improved your complexion...........but only for a little while

The Pope sends you to the Crusades...........in Norway

Your armor is made from that foil that came with your chewing gum

Your wife is stronger than your plow horse...but the horse is prettier

The grail you brought home has "made in China" printed on the bottom

Your wife says you have the smallest turret in the kingdom

You won "most improved " at the tournament

They call your daughter made Marian

Your family crest is a chicken with a banner that says "peace before
discomfort"

Your sheep seem strangely nervous around your oldest son

Your skullery maids laugh out loud when you call Edward The First ,"big Ed"

The Following were submitted by our visitors:

You know you're castle trash if you're war tent says Wal-Mart on the top
flap
submitted by Anthony Davis

You have to polish your own lance....a lot.
submitted by Mike Nicholls

Your portcullis is painted fluorescent lime green

The torture chamber equipment is by "Acme Inc."

The moat is full of old carriage tires
submitted by The Mews

Your hennin (pointed female headdress) is made out newspaper.

Your jeweled sword handle consists of multi-colored jellybeans and macaroni.
submitted by Dragon's Whisper

you have at least one suit of horse armor on blocks in your front yard

You have the smithy weld a special pocket on your armor for your chew

You have a sword rack behind the driver's seat on your carriage

You don't understand why inbreeding in the monarchy is a problem

You have many types of siege engines in your collection....only one or two
work

You had to have the serfs remove the wheels from your castle
Submitted by Katherine J.H.

The only dragon you've defeated is a purple one named Barney
Submitted by David F./ Barbara H.

Flushing the toilet disturbs the ducks in your moat.
Submitted by Byron the Bard

The sword in the sword rack of your carriage is rusted to the rack.
Submitted by Robin S. Wills

(This was found at http://www.clipartcastle.com/joke.htm . There is also
some great clip art at this site)

============================================================================
Go to http://lists.ansteorra.org/lists.html to perform mailing list tasks.