ANST - Cloved Fruit, Bjornsborg Style

[J P]

Here, here!


Catherine 

>From ansteorra-owner at bastion.globeset.com Mon Jan 26 22:43:03 1998
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>Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 00:45:23 -0600
>To: ansteorra at Ansteorra.ORG
>From: Gunnora Hallakarva <gunnora at bga.com>
>Subject: ANST - Cloved Fruit, Bjornsborg Style
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>Since my good sister, Chieftess Mari, is temporarily computer-impaired 
(w=
>e
>all pray that Cynric, who is presently in town, can force the offending
>machine to behave properly Real Soon Now), I will take a moment to 
discus=
>s
>the Bjornsborg Ladies' Response to Cloved Fruit.
>
>I do believe that our belowved Raimond began the tradition as it is now
>practiced in Bjornsborg.  All of us had grown more than a little tired 
of
>the kissing game's increasingly frequent abusers (having a kiss forcved
>upon you where the kisser wields their tongue like a sewer snake down 
you=
>r
>throat, for instance -- been there, suffered that).
>
>Finally the day came where the Bjornsborg Cloved Fruit technique 
evolved.
>It is easily described by the following steps:
>
>(1) Simply smile and accept the offending fruit. =20
>(2) Carefully conceal one's distaste for the game, the person handing 
you
>the fruit, etc. =20
>(3) Grab a clove between one's molars then jerk the fruit away from 
your =
>face
>(4) Scream loudly "HIT THE DECK!"
>(5) Hurl the offending cloved fruit as high, long, and far into the 
neare=
>st
>cactus patch or other irretrievable location.  Distance into the 
darkness
>will serve as well as glochids as a deterrent versus further fruit 
activi=
>ties.
>(6) Fall to the ground and cover up, as if the hurled fruit were a
>fragmentation grenade that might explode upon impact. (The point here 
bei=
>ng
>that the person who handed you the fruit is usually goggling wildly at 
yo=
>u
>and will beat a hasty retreat before the rest of the inmates come out 
of
>the asylum to play.)
>
>Voila!  End of game.
>
>I won't argue the pros vs. cons of the cloved fruit kissing game again.  
=
>It
>got a deserved bad name and I'm glad to see it retired.  I see no 
reason
>why one should not resurrect the game SO LONG as it is played only with
>one's intimates, or at worst WILLING strangers.
>
>Just expect that if you hand one of these items to me or to other
>Bjornsborgers, you may find your cloved fruit becoming swiftly and
>violently airborne.
>
>The last example of a cloved fruit that I can recall appearing at a
>Bjornsborg event was one of our Baronial courts in the last two or 
three
>years.  There some wit handed Mari a cloved pumpkin.  This was 
obviously
>too large for the standard "hand grenade" technique, so she pulled the
>clove with her teeth, gave the approved warcry of "HIT THE DECK" and
>drop-kicked the evil gourd out the door of the tent and hence out of 
cour=
>t.
> Simultaneously, the entire Court of Bjornsborg, including all its 
oldest
>and most staidly respectable members, hurled themselves to the floor in
>response to the Baroness's command.  Watching Baroness Seanna hit the 
dec=
>k,
>narrowly missing the flaming smudge pots we were using for lighting, 
was
>especially entertaining.  Of course, I was down there, too.
>
>
>
>
>W=E6s =DEu H=E6l (Waes Thu Hael)
>
>::GUNNORA::
>
>Gunnora Hallakarva
>Herskerinde
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
>Ek eigi visa =FEik hversu o=F0lask Lofstirrlauf-Kruna heldr hversu na 
Her=
>sis-A=F0al
>(Ek eigi thik hversu odhlask Lofstirrlauf-Kruna heldr hversu na 
Hersis-Ad=
>hal)
>
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>=3D
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