ANST - Re: Kids with Boffers

Dottie Elliott difirenze at
Wed Jul 8 07:57:46 PDT 1998

>Do any of you also feel that parenting in the SCA is not up to snuff?

There are good and bad parents everywhere. The SCA doesn't particularly 
attract specifically bad ones.  Now, there are occasions when parents get 
distracted because there are lots of distractions.  There are also a lot 
of different levels of 'comfort' in parenting. Some things that bother me 
as a parent might not bother you as a parent and vice versa. Non-parents 
also often have a view of child behavior that is too idealized to be 
realistic. All of these differences can cause conflict.  

Someone will think X is a bad parent because their child is off at the 
playground and not under their immediate supervision. Someone will think 
Y is a bad parent because their 3 year old child can't sit completely 
still for a 2 hour dinner. Someone else will think Z is a bad parent 
because their child whines/cries all the time. And woe to the parent 
whose child wanders off between one glance and the next and gets lost! 
NONE of these things make a bad parent depending on the child and 
circumstances. Even the child wandering off doesn't make a bad parent 
because it can happen in 2 seconds while the parent glances at the field 
or gets a drink from the cooler or changes the baby's diaper or whatever. 

Now, there are parents who either don't pay enough attention to the kids 
or whose kids demonstrate on a consistent basis bad behavior or whatever. 
 These parents should be talked to in as non-judgemental a manner as 
possible and as kindly a manner as possible.  I believe I am a good 
parent but if someone has a problem with my kids or me, I would certainly 
want to know. I would listen. Some will not. But that is all you can do 
and continue to do.

If the boffer tourneys are set up with the requirement that parents must 
attend their kids for them to participate so be it. Then enforce it.  
Most of the modern kids sports, while I don't think they require the 
parents to attend, certainly strongly encourage it. I would certainly 
take the time to be with my son while he participated.

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