ANST - unsubscribe (long)

[AuroraeB at aol.com]

In a message dated 98-06-28 22:21:43 EDT, you write:

<< Instead of leaving the Society, I feel it is best that you set the
 example that you want others to follow. I have personally gone through
 similar emotions not that long ago and only recently decided that is how
 I would deal with it.  >>


Who has not gone through this bulls**t before?

I have been through it, I have been fed up with the SCA more than once.  I
have had to just turn around and walk away from the SCA something like 4 times
in the near 10 years I have been participating.  The longest time, for almost
2 years.

It is always either politics or the "he-said she-said" games that get me to
the point where I am "over it".  

At this point I am VERY warily dipping my toes into the water so to speak.  My
husband is very new and very enthusiastic about SCA,  and I cringe when I see
him so enthusiastic, because I know that the time will come, sooner or later,
when somebody will play the politics game on him, and he will be "over it".  

I had dinner with one of my best friends and her husband last night.  They
both used to be VERY into the SCA.  I dont think they will ever be back, as
they are so disgusted with the politics and brownnosing, and sniping at each
other that goes on.  

I know that there are always people who have problems with reality/stability
issues that thrive on troublemaking in ANY organization, be it: PTA, SCA, or
even student and church groups.  But, why is it so ingrained in the SCA?  

And, I really am amazed that people are so willing to overlook personality
flaws and antisocial behavior in certain members of the SCA.  Privacy and
"fairness" is so emphasized, that it is near impossible to call a cad on their
behavior without being villified yourself.  I was nearly raped by a man at an
event, and wound up kicking the hell out of him to get him to let go of me.  I
complained to the only people in "power" I knew at the time, and was told that
this individual "gets a bit rowdy at times", and "now you know to just steer
clear of him".  And, when I attempted to tell the story of what happened to
me, was told I had no right, as the man was not there to defend himself
against me.  

The attitude I get is that if somebody is abusive, hostile, or plain uncouth,
that it is a "private" thing and nobody wants to hear about it.  So, everybody
sticks their head in the sand and pretends that bad things do not happen.

I have some people I am close to in the SCA, but they are leaving left and
right.  First, Beth and Craig.  Now, Scott and Sandy.  And others who are now
only "occasional" players like me.  It is hard to stay enthusiastic when your
friends are jumping ship.

It is sad.  I want to play, but I am scared to get too friendly with anybody,
for fear of getting involved in a political situation.  I DO NOT play
politics.  I WILL NOT play politics.  I will also not kiss up to or otherwise
sell myself out to be a part of any clique either within the SCA or out of it.

I am interested in the SCA because I enjoy the "playing period" aspect of it,
as well as the artistic outlet.  I also like the camaraderie of being among a
group of people who share similar interests.

But, I do not need "power" or "reknown" in the SCA to make me feel good about
myself.  I do not need to be a part of a popular clique.  I will play with
just about any group,  but I am not going to kiss anybody's ass for the
privilige of doing so.  

As long as they do not attack me, or my family and friends, I can get along
with just about anybody.  And, if they piss me off, I get over it, and don't
hold a grudge.  

Sometimes it is a minefield.  If I am too friendly with Lady X,  Lady Y gets
pissed because Lady X stole a member of Lady Y's household's boyfriend.  Or, I
cannot play with Household A because my friend is in Household B, and the
houses are not on friendly terms with each other.  Or I used to date Lord C,
and he has bad blood with Lord D, who has a HUGE following of admirers and
hangers-on, and NONE of them will give me the time of day because of my past
history with Lord C.......

I really want to be involved and enthusiastic about this group.  But, I am
just too wary of stepping into a political situation.  Are there any people
out there who feel the same way?  Maybe we can play SCA together and declare a
"politics-free" zone?

I don't think I will jump ship just yet.  

I am really disappointed in Othar's letter to Mayne and Sandy.  That is not
the Othar I met so many years ago when I first got interested in the SCA.  I
hope he has taken time to reflect on what he has said, especially the part
about his circle of influence.  I would hate to see him go the way of using
people to fulfill his political/personal agendas, there is no need for it.  He
does not need to go that way.

I knew Mayne was opening a BIG can of worms when he posted that letter, and
after talking to him on the phone today, I understand how he can feel so
disillusioned, and hurt.  I understand where he is coming from.  I have gotten
some bad nastygrams in my e-mails too.  I can't say I would not have posted it
either.  I have posted nastygrams on Usenet newsgroups from e-mails I have
received.  But, the fact that it is an Ansteorra list, and we pretty much all
"know" each other offline made it more harsh than just calling somebody on the
carpet for crude behavior.  Generally I chalk it up to the fact that people
cannot take back those words after the send button is pressed, and people are
much more likely to "pop off" online than face to face.  But, everybody has
his/her final straw.

I hate to see Scott and Sandy go.  I hated to see Beth and Craig go.  But,
people have to do what they need to do.  If it is just no longer fun, then
they should go away until when, and if, it seems like fun again.

I have not gotten to that point just yet.  I am really trying to talk myself
into taking the next step, and getting involved in some A&S groups and guilds,
etc.....  (I am the type who has to take tenative, wary steps at just about
anything)  There are some great people in this group, and the potential for
good experiences is there.  Hey, I met my best girlfriend and some of my other
closest friends in the SCA.  

Who knows...........  When is the next Stargate populace meeting, and where?
I will make it a point to take that step.

Am I just the only one who is really saddened at all this unnecessary
negativity?  

Tracy
(Lady Aurorae)

 
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