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[Sandy M Koenig]

 My
>husband is very new and very enthusiastic about SCA,  and I cringe 
>when I see
>him so enthusiastic, because I know that the time will come, sooner or 
>later,
>when somebody will play the politics game on him, and he will be "over 
>it".  


perhaps not.   I don't get involved in the politics, and he shouldn't
either.   I definitely understand where you are coming from, but give him
the chance to enjoy the good things in the SCA



>And, I really am amazed that people are so willing to overlook 
>personality
>flaws and antisocial behavior in certain members of the SCA.  


I think it depends on how familiar everyone is with you.   Othar has been
in the SCA for a long time and is a Squire, but does that mean he can do
no wrong?

>Privacy 
>and
>"fairness" is so emphasized, that it is near impossible to >call a cad 
>on their
>behavior without being villified yourself.  

Yes, if you speak out aginst a popular person ,then you are the villain. 
 But again, people need to know that some of these people are not sugar
and cream like they make out to be

>I was nearly raped by a 
>man at an
>event, and wound up kicking the hell out of him to get >him to let go 
>of me.  I
>complained to the only people in "power" I knew at the >time, and was 
>told that
>this individual "gets a bit rowdy at times", 

yes, these type of men are always excused.   there is  NO excuse for that
type of behavior

and "now you >know to just 
>steer
>clear of him".  And, when I attempted to tell the story of what 
>happened to
>me, was told I had no right, as the man was not there to defend 
>himself
>against me.  
 oh well, he should have watched his Ps and Qs


>
>The attitude I get is that if somebody is abusive, hostile, or plain 
>uncouth,
>that it is a "private" thing and nobody wants to hear about it.  So, 
>everybody
>sticks their head in the sand and pretends that bad things do not 
>happen.

unfortunately that is the attitude of society in general

>
>I have some people I am close to in the SCA, but they are leaving left 
>and
>right.  First, Beth and Craig.  Now, Scott and Sandy.


I am not leaving.  Mayne may have a change of heart later also.  he is
just wound up right now.

 
>I am really disappointed in Othar's letter to Mayne and Sandy.  That 
>is not
>the Othar I met so many years ago when I first got interested in the 
>SCA.  

yes, he is a different person now.   don't know why

I
>hope he has taken time to reflect on what he has said, especially the 
>part
>about his circle of influence.  I would hate to see him go the way of 
>using
>people to fulfill his political/personal agendas, there is no need for 
>it.  He
>does not need to go that way.
>
>I knew Mayne was opening a BIG can of worms when he posted that 
>letter, and
>after talking to him on the phone today, I understand how he can feel 
>so
>disillusioned, and hurt.  I understand where he is coming from.  I 
>have gotten
>some bad nastygrams in my e-mails too.  I can't say I would not have 
>posted it
>either.  I have posted nastygrams on Usenet newsgroups from e-mails I 
>have
>received.  But, the fact that it is an Ansteorra list, and we pretty 
>much all
>"know" each other offline made it more harsh than just calling 
>somebody on the
>carpet for crude behavior.  Generally I chalk it up to the fact that 
>people
>cannot take back those words after the send button is pressed, and 
>people are
>much more likely to "pop off" online than face to face.  But, 
>everybody has
>his/her final straw.
>
>I hate to see Scott and Sandy go.  I hated to see Beth and Craig go.  
>But,
>people have to do what they need to do.  If it is just no longer fun, 
>then
>they should go away until when, and if, it seems like fun again.
>
>I have not gotten to that point just yet.  I am really trying to talk 
>myself
>into taking the next step, and getting involved in some A&S groups and 
>guilds,
>etc.....  (I am the type who has to take tenative, wary steps at just 
>about
>anything)  There are some great people in this group, and the 
>potential for
>good experiences is there.  Hey, I met my best girlfriend and some of 
>my other
>closest friends in the SCA.  
>
>Who knows...........  When is the next Stargate populace meeting, and 
>where?
>I will make it a point to take that step.
>
>Am I just the only one who is really saddened at all this unnecessary
>negativity?  
>
>Tracy
>(Lady Aurorae)
>
> 
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