ANST - Question...

[Mary Temple]

>Good Morning,
>
Good Evening,

>  When one person does something wrong, they are unchivalric and need 
to
>  be taken to task for it. Right?
>
Perhaps. If they are self-aware and adult enough to realize they've done 
something wrong on their own, and then admit to it, and/or apologize for 
it, then no. Assuming this is not the case, then yes, although I would 
not have used the phrase "need to be taken to task". (semantics warning) 
Perhaps "spoken to"? "Shown the error of their ways"?

>  People then decide that they are the judge and jury and must bring
>  this public as rudely as possible to teach the person a lesson, and
>  thus being unchivalric themself. Right?
>
Right. Miss Manners says (grin) it is even more of a breach of 
ettiquette to publicly point out someone's breach than it is to commit 
the first breach. (Hmm...does that mean parents are worse than their 
children when they tell them to take their elbows off the table?)

(snippage occured here)
>  Second, how does one properly take someone to task that is behaving
>  inappropriately?
>
Well, failing the "lead by example" option, I have always thought that 
talking to them directly and PRIVATELY yields the best results. Putting 
someone on the spot is in poor taste...and can distract the person from 
thinking about the message you are trying to convey to thinking about 
how best to get out of being the one everyone's looking at.

>  I have always assumed that talking plainly and calmly directly to
>  people would work most of the time. When that doesn't work, using
>  plain and obvious examples of why it is bad has always worked. There
>  are of course those individuals who will do as they will no matter
>  what. There is nothing we can do about them except socially ignore
>  them until they go away.
>(snippage occured here as well)  

Socially ignore them and HOPE they go away. For some it's not a matter 
of "do as they will no matter what". For some they just simply can't or 
won't comprehend that they're in the wrong. To do so is to admit they 
are in error, and some simply cannot do that for whatever reaon - 
"foolish pride", "insecurity", what have you.

She who is never Perfect, but strives for Improvement -
Lady Catriona Rowley
Bryn Gwlad, Ansteorra
>
>-- 
>Phelim "Pug" Gervase  |  "I know that I will never be politically 

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