ANST - Another Funny Story From Alina's Sister
lg_photo at texas.net
Thu Mar 26 17:02:16 PST 1998
Greeting From Alina:
This came from one of my sisters.
FW: I've been there..
Thu, 26 Mar 98 14:49:00 CST
"Laura M. Stone" <LSTONE01 at EDS1.nhic.slg.eds.com>
TRUE STORY AND A GOOD LAUGH...
Cross my heart this happened to this who guy lives in
Westchester, NY, and goes to school at Ithaca College.
For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also
from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has
never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees
home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and
they make dinner plans for Saturday night.
Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and
drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such
bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without
throwing up or using the bathroom.
After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but
he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't
want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to
So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City
(about a 30 minute ride).
They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the
appetizers to use the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the
appetizers without interruption, but he has to go back again
during the entrees.
They decide to get dessert. During dessert, our hero feels
another rumbling, but doesn't want to look like a complete
bathroom freak, so he holds it. After a few minutes, the rumbling
subsides, but he still has a bit of gas stored up. He decides to
little bit of gas fly right there at the table (discreetly, of
Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another little
crap," he thinks (and feels).
Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero immediately
leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this
suprise. He maintains this yoga position for the rest of
dessert, trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants (a)
smell, or (b) start to show stains on the outside.
He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. Oh, by
the way, he is walking like a cowboy. On the way to the train
station, they pass the Gap. "Do you mind if I run in and buy a
sweater that I was looking at last week?" he asks. "No problem,
like to look around too," she replies.
They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are
on the right, women's fashions are on the left.
They split up. Our hero grabs the first sweater within reach,
and hurries over to the khaki rack. After selecting a pair that
most closely resemble his current outfit, he brings both items to
register. His eyes are on his date (still on the other side
of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him buying the
He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through clenched
teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away)
"What?" asks the Gap girl.
"Just the pants!" (Eyes still trained on his date.)
Gap girl: "Oh, OK."
He pays for the pants and walks over to his date, then they leave
the store. They board the train just before it leaves the
station and find two seats in the middle of the car. Without
down, our hero excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the
car. He gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly
rips off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and
them out the window.
After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls out
just the sweater.
lg_photo at texas.net
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