ANST - REX 2-D Press Release

Leslie Miller Miller at pp.okstate.edu
Wed Apr 14 07:28:28 PDT 1999


Here is a bit of humor from the Grand Council.

Gunhilda

------- Forwarded Message Follows -------

Troubled by the inconvenience and expense of conventional Royal Progresses,
not to mention the constant struggle to insure that your Royalty is Properly
Arrayed in the Manner Befitting Their Station? Now, there is a solution,
based on the well documented late Roman practice of using a portrait of the
Emperor to denote Imperial authority when he could not be present in person.

Yes, now REX 2-D (tm), another fine product from ScaVaporWare, Inc., offers
you the ultimate in Regal Convenience. Generate the two-dimensional Royals
you need using your color printer. Choose from a variety of Royal Expressions
(Majestic, Benevolent, Stern but Fair, and Imitate the Action of the Tiger).
Likewise, a wide choice of Royal Robes, from Byzantine to Tudor, as well as
the ever-popular Scadian Generic Quasi-Medieval. And choose from virtually
infinite array of fabric treatments, including elaborate brocades, which may,
at your option, be tiled with .gif files of the kingdom arms or motif of your
choice. Generate with or without depiction of Orb and Scepter of Massy Gold
studded with Rich Gems. And your crown options are no longer limited by the
limitations imposed by potential terminal neckstrain. (ScaVaporWare intends
to offer regular update files with Even Bigger Gems (tm) so that you can keep
ahead of other, less splendid kingdoms with smaller software budgets)

What about the Royal Presence? It's ScaVaporWare's position that the Royal
Presence does not exist outside the electronic format until the REX 2-D image
is generated as hard copy, and then the presence only exists *in the plane of
the image*. From the observed doctrine that three dimensional royalty
generate a three dimensional presence, we may generalize that n-dimensional
royalty generate a n-dimensional presence, and so it follows that a REX 2-D
image generates a two dimensional presence. This adds further convenience, as
the Royal Image may be printed out on a larger sheet that includes a
delineation of the edge of the Royal Presence, to avoid infringing on it by
mistake. Indeed, the program can fill the entire Royal Presence with images
of Respectful and Loyal Subjects, insuring that a splendid, handsome, and
well-dressed Royal Retinue is always available, and that no transgressions
against Royal Dignity can occur.

Order your copy today

Galleron "Cut-me-own-throat" de Cressy
VP Sales and Marketing
ScaVaporWare, Inc.
mclean1382 at aol.com

ScaVaporWare, Inc. extends the right to repost this press release elsewhere.
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