ANST - Important Virus warning *eg*

[Trish McCurdy]

BEWARE.........  If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of
"Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most
dangerous E-mail virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. not only
that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your
computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so
all your ice cream melts and milk curdles. It will demagnetize the
strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw
up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch 
any CDs you try to play. It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new 
phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink 
all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's 
company coming over.  It will hide your car keys when you are late for 
work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static 
while stuck in traffic.*** It will give you nightmares about circus 
midgets.*** It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with 
Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back 
and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It reaches out 
beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. 

 "Badtimes" will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet 
seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full 
bathtub. It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses 
and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and 
subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is also a rather 
interesting shade of mauve.  These are just a few signs.  Be very, very 
afraid.

sorry, couldn't resist...

Larissa

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