ANST - A small politeness request

[Angela Bellavance]

Dear Gentles,

I apologize for taking up bandwidth, but I need to get something off my
chest and I think this is the best way to do it, especially since I see
that Coronation feast will be having volunteer servers like Steppes' 12th
Night did.

If a lady is serving a table, then it is considered gentlemanly if someone
asks her if she would like assistance.  For any number of reasons, the
lady may politely decline such aide.  If she does so, then _leave_ _her_
_be_ to do her job.  DO NOT continue to ask her to hand over the tray.  
DO NOT hover over her shoulder as she serves.  DO NOT race her to the
kitchen to cut her off and pick up the next course before she can. You may
think you are being helpful.  You are in fact being rude and insulting,
suggesting that she is incapable of serving correctly.

This happened to me at Steppes' 12th Night (at which I otherwise had a
lovely time!). It was my first time serving, but I thought I was doing a
good job (at least the other gentles seated at the table said so - I thank
you very much!).  If this other gentleman had been so eager to serve, and
had been present when feast started and I went down the table asking if
anyone else had volunteered or would like to volunteer, I would have been
more than happy to step down in his favor. However, once someone has
started doing a job, please do not agressively try to take it away from
them.

I do not know who this gentleman was and I did not want to make a big fuss
at the time so as not to spoil the evening for the other gentles at the
table.  I would just like to try to make sure this doesn't happen to
someone else. Thank you for patience and kind ear.

Learning to serve the dream, 
Angela

_______
Angela Bellavance 
bellavan at rice.edu			home: (713) 218-9665
http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~bellavan/	work: don't bother, I'm not there
"It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value."
				- Arthur C. Clarke

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