ANST - Drunkenness

Steve Hughes shughes at vvm.com
Fri Jun 25 09:12:17 PDT 1999


The Eight Kinds of Drunkenness
Rhymed by Pamela Hewitt, the Harper (Pamela S. Keightley)
Described by Thomas Nashe in
Pierce Penniless, His Supplication to the Devil, 1592

The first is ape drunk who howls and sings
and danceth for heaven in early spring.

The second is a lion who quarrels and roars
Breaks out the windows and flings the pots on the floor.

The third is a swine, a great sprawling lump
Who whines for more beer to be brought from the pump.

The fourth is a sheep who seems solemn and wise
Yet cannot bring forth a word right nor focus his eyes.

The fifth is a maudlin drunk that kisses and cries
Mumbles "Love none better!" and pokes at his eyes.

The sixth is a martin, he drinks so slow
He is full sober ere home he goes.

The seventh is a goat, to lechery bound
Who pulls up the girls' skirts to see what can be found.

The eighth is a fox, so crafty he feels
Tis only in his cups he seeks to make deals.

So, if ever you're sober at a feast or a ball (which is not likely)
You'll find that these creatures do people our halls

And each has its virtues and each has its defects
But as long as we drink what can we expect?
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