ANST - Rambling about discussions of peerage, etc. (long)

[Michael Tucker]

Unto my good and true fellow Ansteorrans,
Greetings from Michael Silverhands:

We've got quite a discussion group going here! Several related topics are being
passionately discussed on many levels: who are the Peers of Ansteorra? what
makes a Peer? should we recognize as Peers people who exhibit "Peer" qualities,
but don't fit the available Peerages? if so, should we change how we look at the
existing Peerages, or should we instead create a new one?

Although I don't agree with everything that's been said, I find the arguments to
be illuminating and thought provoking. Many (though, sadly, not all) have been
well thought out and carefully considered. If nothing else, they help me to
better understand how others feel about these issues, and to examine more
closely how _I_ do. Whether any policies are changed as a result of these
discussions, I think they are worthwhile - even the strongly negative points of
view, which (again, if nothing else) serve to remind us that there's always
another side to consider.

Viscount Galen, Sir Lyonel, Baron Kazimir: if you are looking for an invitation
to continue your dialog publicly, please consider yourselves invited. If folks
_really_ don't want to read it, there's always that trusty "Delete" button. :-)

All of that being said, after some thought I've decided to throw in my two cents
on some of those subjects. Warning: this message rambles a lot. Feel free to
click "Next" or "Delete" now if you're not interested in my point of view, or if
you've grown weary of the whole discussion.

I think my SCA experience has brought me to a place where I can appreciate
what's been said on both sides of this whole issue. I've been playing for about
18 years, if you count from my first event. But I still remember what it was
like to be new. For my first several years, I came to events with nothing more
than the garb on my back and a cup to drink from. I wasn't very "clued in" to
how to prepare for an event, but that was ok because I had found many friends
who treated me like part of their family. It was a wonderful feeling. Today,
Neassa and I count ourselves lucky if we don't need a trailer to haul our stuff
to an event. The shoe is on the other foot, but I haven't forgotten what it was
like before.

I've got plenty of awards and titles, most of them unsought after. I've tended
to pitch in and work at events, and hold offices when they come empty. It
happens that I've been recognized for my work (although that doesn't
automatically follow), and I've got a slew of service awards up to and including
the Star of Merit. I've also enjoyed bardic pursuits, coming from a lifetime of
interest in music and the performing arts. My efforts have been recognized
(thank you!), and I hold a Thistle and an Iris of Merit. I've fought, both
tournament and war, both rattan and (just starting) rapier. In a cabinet in my
home there's a little mug won in a small tournament along the way - one of my
proudest and most surprising achievements in the SCA. Neassa and I were chosen
to be the Crown's representative to Stargate (and the Barony's voice to the
Crown), and have served as Baron/ess for over 4 years.

So you might as well lump me in with the folks who've got lots of awards.

However, I don't have a Peerage and perhaps never will. I love music and the
performing arts, but I have so _many_ interests that I don't give that _one_ the
kind of energy that, say, a Laurel such as Avatar of Catsprey or Samuel Piper
has done. I just play my instruments, and sing my songs, and tell my stories.
It's _fun_ and _rewarding_ in and of itself. I also tend to work a lot. But,
again, if I look at the level of work put out by most Pelicans, I realize that
I'm spread a little thin to be seen as really focused on work. But that's ok,
too. I'm happy to do the work; usually there's some "instant gratification" from
seeing a job done, and done well. That is, in and of itself, a reward for the
work. I enjoy fighting, but since I tore up my knees it's painful and difficult
for me. I will likely never be able to sustain the level of fighting required
for Knighthood (or even a Centurion or White Scarf). But, again, that's ok. I
have fun, I feel that I give as well as I get, and I learn a lot about our
history and myself by doing it.

So you might as well count my voice among the "non-Peers", too.

I do what I do, because I love doing it. The awards are a "bonus".

The titles and awards are _nice_, don't get me wrong! Especially the recognition
of my love for music - that Thistle and Iris mean a lot to me. Not the little
"dangly" that I wear (which has _no_ value outside our world of make-believe),
but the fact that a bunch of my friends and people I respect went to a lot of
trouble to tell me, publicly, that they thought I'd accomplished something. But
the awards don't, in and of themselves, _define_ who I am. At best, I'd say they
_reflect_ some aspects of who I am.

Among the people who know me, I think I command a certain level of respect in my
various pursuits. If the subject is the performing arts, those who know me
acknowledge that I'm pretty knowledgeable in that subject. If there's work to be
done, those who know me know that all they have to do is let me know it needs
doing, and I'll most likely either help take care of it or help find someone who
will. When I armor up, those who know me accord me a (modest) level of respect
on the field. I'm not much threat to our seasoned warriors, but on the other
hand they are careful not to get careless around me. Whether or not any _words_
of praise are exchanged, it's very gratifying to be accorded this kind of
respect by people's _actions_. This respect comes _regardless_ of awards.

Still, an award serves at least two (three, in the case of a Peerage) useful functions:

1) (most important) It's a public accolade, a validation of who you are and what
you do, from some people whose opinions might matter to you. As such, it's
encouragement to keep doing what you do, and an incentive for others to follow
suit. You could accomplish the same thing with something other than an official
award, but the award structure provides a handy means to that end.

2) The award's insignia serves as a "letter of introduction" to people who don't
know you. If I choose to wear my Star or Iris ribbon, someone who knows what
they mean can suppose (safely or not *grin*) that I know something about the
arts, and service. Of course, few outside Ansteorra would know what those little
ribbons signify.

3) A Peerage is both of the above things, but it is also your letter of
admission to the Circle for conducting the business of the Order. It is also
recognized throughout the Society. Wherever you go, if you see a white belt on
someone you can suppose (again, rightly or not *grin*) that they have achieved
mastery of the martial aspects of our Society.

HOWEVER, COMMA: I said that receiving an award meant a lot to me because it was
a public validation from people I care about. That coin has two sides. If you
work your tail off, or swing a hot stick, or consistently strive for excellence
in the arts, and you _don't_ get the recognition, guess what? That says, rightly
or not, that you are _not_ validated by those same people whose opinions might
matter to you. It says, intentionally or not, justified or not: "You are not worthy."

That applies to Peerage just as much as it does to an Award of Arms. If you see
others being publicly recognized for their contributions to the Society while
you are not, it's easy to become discouraged. If there's someone you can talk
to, you might ask them what you aren't doing that you ought to be, or what you
_are_ doing that you're doing wrong. All too often, though, folks just get tired
of trying and find something else to do. Yes, "the journey is the reward", but
it hurts to be overlooked when awards are being handed out. Sure, you can shrug
it off to a certain extent. After all, _you_ know that you're worthy. But after
a while, human nature being what it is, you begin to resent the awards being
received by others.

So, awards withheld can easily come to _represent_ goals not yet attained. I
think, more than anything else, awards represent the _public recognition_ of you
and your efforts. Deny the award, and you are (in effect) denying the
recognition, and (by inference) putting someone down. So, again: the award is
not _itself_ the goal, but it _represents_ the goal (recognition).

Consider school: How would you feel if you made an "A" on an exam? Pretty good,
huh? But other than your own internal pride in your accomplishment, it's not
really a big deal. How you do in your class every day will actually have a
bigger impact. If you consistently seem to know what you're talking about, the
people who've had a class with you or studied with you will start turning to you
for help in the subject. That kind of respect is wonderful, but you have to earn
it over a long period of time.

Now, how about if your teacher read aloud the names of all the star students,
and had them stand up for a round of applause? That would feel _great_, wouldn't
it? You'd feel included in a wonderful experience. Maybe... What if you aren't
named, but you're pretty sure you've done as well on the exams, and contributed
as much in the discussions, as some of the people who _are_ named? That would
feel _awful_. You'd feel cheated, and unfairly excluded. You'd be torn between
asking the teacher if there's been some mistake, or just quietly wondering what
you did wrong. (After all, we aren't _supposed_ to be vain and
self-aggrandizing. There's a fine line between "self-confidence" and "vanity".)
On the other hand, your friends might ask on your behalf why you weren't named.

And I think that's the whole point that started all these discussions in the
first place. Some of the folks in the Society are doing wonderful things, but
they aren't being considered when we start naming the "star students". Some of
us see this exclusion taking place, and wonder whether it's a problem; and if
so, how to go about solving it.

Awards and titles are a way of congratulating people, yes. But they're also a
way of both _including_ and _excluding_ people. Peerage is the ultimate example
of this. As long as we give _any_ awards in the Society, I think it's important
to give them as _fairly_ as possible, and as _inclusively_ as possible.

Enough rambling for now. Thanks for reading this far. Please let me know what
you think about any of this.

Yours,
Michael
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