ANST - Fw: [TY] NORSE OF COURSE

[Caley Woulfe]

Hear Ye, O Vikings of the Realm. This be for you...  :)

Caoillainn De Bhulbh, She-Wolf of Limerick
"If Normal is relative, it must be a very distant relative..."

-----Original Message-----
From: HolmesRA at ingalls.com <HolmesRA at ingalls.com>
To: TY at reashelm.ce.utk.edu <TY at reashelm.ce.utk.edu>
Date: Thursday, October 21, 1999 8:49 AM
Subject: [TY] NORSE OF COURSE


>
>
>Enough Normans, let's hear about Vikings. :-)
>
>Haldan
>Osprey
>******************************
>
>        NORSE OF COURSE
> original poem in the style of Theodor Suess Geiselson
> by Raven Madelyn Stark (evil twin of Raven Qara ton)
>
> One skald, two skald,
> young skald, dead skald.
> This one wrote a mighty ode.
> This one took his ship and rowed.
> Say!  What a long way he rowed!
> Yes, some are young and some are dead.
> Some are very seldom read.
> Some are sad.  And some are glad.
> And some are very, very bad.
> Who was the saddest, baddest one?
> His name was Egil - Skallagrim's son.
>
> Egil was a cranky one.
> He killed people just for fun!
> When Egil was a boy, his dad
> said, Never, ever make him mad.
> Egil did not like to lose
> And those who beat him got contused.
> The other boys let Egil win
> So that he would not do them in.
> Mom said, Our son is brave and true,
> But dad did not know _what_ to do.
> What will he ever do for work?
> Don't fret, said Mom - he'll go berserk.
>
> Egil's brother Thorolfur
> Was handsomer than him by far.
> Egil and his brother fought
> They fought an awful, awful lot.
> Thorolfur would always say,
> I wish that you would go away.
> I do not like you, Skallagrimsson.
> I do not like what you have done.
> I think you really are a skunk
> And even worse when you are drunk!
> They fought and fought and fought and fought.
> The more they fought, the worse it got.
> ...And when Egil and his brother fight
> It's called a nasty Norsky battle
> And when they battle in a hurry,
> it's a nasty hasty Norsky battle.
> And when nasty hasty Norskies battle
> with paddles in a murky puddle,
> They soon get in an awful muddle:
> A nasty hasty Norsky murky puddle paddle battle.
> And soon each other they are striking
> Til dad says, Time to go a'viking!
>
> Egil liked his brother more
> When he saw what viking had in store.
> Egil burned some barns and farms.
> Farms with barns, sir!  Barns on farms, sir!
> Did them very deadly harm, sir!
> Silly Egil had to learn
> _First_ you loot, and _then_ you burn.
> Egil sailed up and down
> Egil sailed round and round.
> Egil gathered loot in sacks, sir,
> racks of sacks and box of rocks,
> lots of pret-ty shiny rocks.
> Egil liked his box of rocks
> And closed it up with lots of locks.
>
> The brothers fought for the English king
> They thought this was a dandy thing.
> They fought the Scots, sir,
> Lots of Scots, sir,
> Lots and lots and lots of Scots, sir!
> But that day Egil's brother died
> And Egil cried and cried and cried
> (But first, he killed himself some Scots -
> Lots and lots and lots more Scots!)
>
> One skald, two skald,
> young skald, dead skald.
> But look, sir, just what _is_ a skald?
> Is he someone somewhat bald?
> Skald he was, sir, bald he got,sir,
> He wrote ken-ning clever lines, sir.
> Rhymes with lines and lines with signs.
> Long-lined sing-song wing-ding rhymes.
> He liked lines with jigs and wobbles.
> He liked many syllabobbles.
> He could write a nifty verse
> He could write a nasty curse.
> He could tell a lengthy tale
> He could drink a _lot_ of ale.
> Tales of ale, sir, without fail, sir,
> Up until his ship set sail, sir.
>
> After Egil died, they found
> His big skull buried in the ground.
> Skapti took his mighty ax
> And gave the skull a couple whacks
> But after all, that helm's-rock skull
> Only made the ax get dull!
> Why was his skull so very crusty?
> Maybe because the ax was rusty?
>
> So now you've heard my tale of Egil
> As many rhymes as I can finagle.
> But you know what's very, very scary?
> I mean very, very, VERY SCARY?
> When the Norsemen heard the awful story
> Of Egil's deeds so grim and gory
> That I have told you of today
> They would clap their hands and say:
> Egil, son of Skallagrim:
> I want to grow up just like him!
>
>
>
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