ANST - Fw: Edward Longshanks vs. the Wee Scot

[Caley Woulfe]

Sent: Friday, October 22, 1999 04:29 PM
Subject: : Edward Longshanks vs. the Wee Scot


>
> >>>            Edward Longshanks vs. the Wee Scot
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Edward Longshanks (Edward I of England and allegedly Scotland)
> >>> comes north to Scotland to hammer the Scots.  He brings 4,000 men
> >>> with him.  As he reaches Sterling, suddenly on the crest of a hill
> >>> there appears a solitary figure, a wee short ginger-haired man in a
kilt.
> >>>
> >>> "Hammer of the Scots!" yells the wee Scottish guy on the hill.  "Come
> >>> up here, ya English bastards, and I'll give ye a hammer!  I'm as tough
> >>> as nails."
> >>>
> >>> Edward turns to his commander and says, "Take 20 men and deal with
> >>> that Scottish upstart!"
> >>>
> >>> The commander sends 20 men over the hill to kill the Scot.
> >>>
> >>> Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears
> >>again.
> >>>
> >>> "Ye English bastards!" he yells.  "Come on the rest of ye!!  Come on,
> >>> I'll have ye!!!"
> >>>
> >>> Edward is getting somewhat annoyed.  He turns to his commander.
> >>> "Take 100 men and kill that little guttersnipe!"
> >>>
> >>> The commander sends 100 men over the hill to do the job.
> >>>
> >>> Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the hill
again,
> >>> his hair all sticking up, his kilt a bit torn.  "Ye English SCUM!" he
> >>yells.
> >>>
> >>> "I'm just warming up!!!  Come and get me!!!"
> >>>
> >>> Edward loses patience.  "Commander, take 400 men and personally
> >>> WIPE HIM OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!" he yells.
> >>>
> >>> The commander gulps, but leads 400 men on horseback over the
> >>> crest of the hill.
> >>>
> >>> Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all
> >>> torn, his face is covered in blood, snot and Irn-Bru, and he yells,
> >>> "Is that the best ye can do???  You're bloody WIMMIN!!!!  Come
> >>> on, come and have a go if you think you're men enough!!!"
> >>>
> >>> Edward turns to his second in command.  "Take 1000 men over that
> >>> hill and don't come back till you've killed him!" he commands.
> >>>
> >>> The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the
> >>> hill to their fate. Ten minutes later, one of the English troops
appears
> >>> back at the top of the hill.  He's covered in blood and his clothes
are
> >>> all torn.
> >>>
> >>> "Your Majesty!!" he yells.  "Go back, Go back, it's a trap!!!
> >>> There's TWO of them!!!"
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
> >>
> >
>




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