ANST - FW: Musing on August 2nd, Rufus and Dufus

[j'lynn yeates]

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From: Ellsworth Weaver [mailto:astroweaver at yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 02, 2000 23:09
To: 2thpix at surfari.net
Subject: Musing on August 2nd, Rufus and Dufus


Dear Folk,

On this day, August 2, two nasty kings were killed. If I were king, I
think today would be one I would stay in bed. It makes Friday the
13th
look lucky.

King of England William II (known as Rufus – no kidding) was William
the Conqueror and his wife Mathilda of Flanders’ middle son, born in
1057. They had three and when Bill I (the Conqueror) died, here is
how
he split up his goods: Robert (the eldest) got the duchy of Normandy,
Rufus got Jolly Old England, and Henry (the youngest) got 5000 pounds
of silver. It is tough having three sons, ask Fred MacMurray, and
King
Bill I did the best he could by them. Of course nobody was happy
about
it.

Quite a few of the Norman barons, who had come over with Bill I, had
one foot on each side of the pond: holdings both in Normandy
controlled
by Robert, and England controlled by Rufus. You know that saying
about
not being able to serve two masters? Exactly! The barons favored
Robert
because he was a relatively nice guy. Do you want to know about
Rufus?
In a moment, my children.

Anyway, the barons decided that they would just behave for Robert.
Unfortunately for them, Robert did not come across the channel and
stand up for them. Rufus made sure the barons knew exactly with whom
they were playing. Something about a Louisville Slugger along side
some
of their heads, if you get my drift. Further, Rufus decided that
Robert
across the short and briny was a threat to him in Albion. Rufus took
some petty cash and quietly slipped across to Normandy in 1089.
Barons
have been known to see the light, especially when it is reflected off
gold. Rufus really didn’t mean to but he wound up eroding his
brother's
power base. How do these things happen?  In 1096, Robert, tired of
governing and quarreling with his brothers, pawned Normandy to
William
Rufus for 10,000 marks to finance his departure to the Holy Land on
the
first Crusade.

William Rufus employed all the powers of the crown to secure wealth.
What else makes up for the weight of wearing it? Every little law or
secret codicil he turned to his favor such that he levied the
heaviest
of fines, taxes, confiscated land, even put in an incredible
inheritance tax. He really had little else to do with his life: he
never could win a bride and never sired any children. Rufus could
also
be a tad choleric in temperament. Raising money was as good of a
hobby
as any. Was good for his digestion.

Rufus did not stop there. He really hacked off the church. One of the
ways he did that was in how he sneakily brought in money. When a
bishop
would die, King Rufus would not appoint another in his place. He held
that position open. When folks were tithing and being all holy by
giving money to the Church, Rufus was pocketing the loot. He had a
royal weasel, Ranulf Flambard, who helped him figure out ways of
milking the Church out of every conceivable penny. Heck, the Church
looked like a big business to Rufus and darn it, they should pay
taxes
too. There was a big to-do when Anselm, Abbot of Bec, was appointed
Archbishop of Canterbury in 1093. Rufus was sick at the time and
thought to get right with God, so he named Anselm as Archbishop. Then
when he got well, Rufus made Anselm quit the post. Talk about brash!
Well, Rufus just never thought the wealth of the Canterbury bishopric
should be entrusted to a churchman.

On August 2, 1100, William Rufus was out hunting in the woods with
his
dear brother Henry. Remember Henry? Something happened. An arrow, it
is
not clear who fired it, went straight into William Rufus’ eye. Rufus
was stone dead at the age of 40. Accident? Murder? I wasn’t there.
Robert was away on crusade. What else could a loyal brother do? Henry
rode straight to get himself crowned Henry I King of England. The
Church refused to give Rufus a church funeral or burial. Guess that
showed him.

Another king who got himself seriously acutely and chronically dead
on
this date was Henry III of France. I know you remember our "Kiss me,
Kill me, Kate" column where I talked about Kate de Medici. Here is
her
last son, the last of the Valois kings of France. He helped out on
the
St. Bartholomew’s Day massacre in 1572 where tens of thousands of
Huguenots suddenly died of an excess of steel in their diets. His
brother Chuck IX died, it is rumored by an accidental poisoning by
Mommy, in 1574. Henry was off in Poland where he had been elected
king
in 1573 so we know he did not do it. Honest.

Henry III came back to France and did his best to serve there. Guess
he
just let Poland fend for itself. He aligned himself with a group
called
the Catholic League -- it wasn’t about bowling, I checked – headed up
by Henri de Guise. This gets a tad confusing but hang on. The other
leg
of this triangle was a guy named Henry of Navarre (later became King
Henry IV of France) who had married Margot, Kate’s beautiful and
willful daughter. Henry Navarre was in line to become king of France.
This rankled both Henry III and de Guise. They tried to whomp up on
Navarre but he beat them at Coutras (1587) in the War of the Henries.
Henri de Guise, a sleazy cavalier, then left his king’s side and
decided to lead the mob against Henry III, his former friend. The mob
ran poor King Henry III Valois out of Paris.

Henry Valois was nothing if he was not his mother’s son. He arranged
de
Guise to have an accident. Some would call it an assassination. Then
King Henry Valois joined forces with his brother-in-law (well, Margot
no longer lived with him exactly) Henry Navarre to try to retake
Paris.
During the siege on this day August 2, 1589,. he was assassinated by
a
fanatical monk, Jacques Clément. Henry III was the last male member
of
the house of Valois.

What have we learned from Rufus and dufus Henry? Sometimes being king
of one place is enough? Be careful of whom you go hunting with?
Barons
can be persuaded by being nice and giving them gifts? Henry might be
too common of a name? Politics makes strange bedfellows? I like to
think that anyone can be taken out if you are personally willing to
put
yourself on the line. No one is safe from a person "doing God’s
will."

Thanks for reading these small mailings. If you would like to send
them
on, just keep my name and sig attached.

Not looking to be king, myself; Pope is enough,
J.  Ellsworth Weaver

SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats


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http://www.thereadersvine.com/~Jennifer_deTocqueville/sebastiansmusing
s.html

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