ANST - FW: Musing on August 17th -- Hail Caesar!

Fri Aug 18 11:11:47 PDT 2000

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From: Ellsworth Weaver [mailto:astroweaver at yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, August 18, 2000 11:15
To: 2thpix at surfari.net
Subject: Musing on August 17th -- Hail Caesar!

Dear Folk,

On this day August 17, a cardinal of the Roman Catholic Church, who
was
also the son of the Pope, renounced his vows to marry a French
princess
and do a touch of maiming and killing. Also on this day a man fell
asleep for three months.

The papacy in the late 1400s to early 1500s was at its nadir. Look at
it any way you wish:  there was greed, living in sin, outrageous
parties, political scheming, assassinations, kids born out of
wedlock,
nepotism, gawkery, moping, dancing on Sundays, you name it.

Let’s start with Innocent VIII (formerly known as Giovanni Cibo). He
was a corrupt, indolent and altogether nasty guy. He was almost
entirely  under the influence of Cardinal Giuliano della Rovere. His
reign (1484 - 1492) was marked by a long drawn out conflict with
Naples
which ended in a marriage alliance of the pope’s family with the
Aragonese household and the de Medici.

1492 - 1503 Saw Rodrigo Borgia reign as Alexander VI. Although he
looked really good – dressed nice with sharkskin shoes, you know --
he
was ruthless and thoroughly immoral, whose life was a scandal even in
Italy, even during his own lifetime. In his late 20s he started
hanging
about the Roman lady, Vanozza Catanei, who became the mother of his
four children: Juan, Caesar, Lucrezia and Jofre. Luigi was from an
earlier dalliance.

A family man, Alexander’s terminal objective was to establish the
rule
of his family in central Italy. He broke the big Roman families – the
Orsini and Colonna – and through his son, Caesar Borgia, he undertook
a
conquest of all of Romagna, the Papal states and anything else he
could
grab. Alexander had some powerful sons: Pier Luigi, 1st Duke of
Gandia
(died 1488 age 25); Don Giovanni (Don Juan in Spanish), 2nd Duke of
Gandia, Alexander appointed him as Gonfalonier and Captain General of
the Papal Armies. Giovanni got himself assassinated (that is the same
as being killed if you have lots of money and power) in June, 1497.
As
the histories say, "on the sixteenth of June, the body of the young
Duke was fished out of the Tiber, with the throat cut and many gaping
wounds." That is pretty seriously dead.

Let’s talk about his son, Caesar (1475 - 1507). He is the hero of
Machiavelli’s _The Prince_. We all sort of have a feeling for how
humanistic this guy was. He had been appointed Cardinal of the
Catholic
Church by his dad, Alexander VI, in 1493. Not a bad thing, keeping
one’s family employed: making your 18 year old son a Cardinal –
elector
of popes and maybe someday another Borgia pope himself. But with
brother Giovanni dead, Caesar had to be released to take care of
"family business."

On October 1, 1498, Caesar, no longer a cardinal, but designated Duke
of Valentinois and Peer of France set out from Rome to bring the
papal
dispensation to King Louis to annul a marriage, gave his cardinal's
hat
to his minister D'Amboise, and tried to find for himself a wife of
high
degree. He he really wanted Carlotta, the daughter of Federigo of
Naples. She was Princess of Tarento and would have made Caesar one of
the most powerful barons in the Kingdom. Carlotta, who resided in
France, thought Caesar was icky. Since that princess persisted in her
refusal, he received instead the hand of a niece of King Louis, the
sister of the King of Navarre, Charlotte D'Albret.

Released from his vows by Papal Dispensation and unanimous consent of
the Sacred College on August 17, 1498, Caesar was created Duke of
Valentinois (1498-1507) by Loius XII of France. Naturally, some
spoilsports suggested that Caesar commissioned that hit on Giovanni
to
achieve this more active role. Hey, they weren’t there! Such talk was
and is dangerous to those who spread such horrid rumors. An able and
energetic condottiere of the Papal Armies, he enjoyed great success,
likening himself to his namesake, Julius Caesar. Caesar reduced the
principalities in a two year campaign from 1499 - 1501 and became
Duke
of Romagna. After that, the Borgias joined forces with France in an
attack on Naples, and the French helped Caesar in putting down a
revolt
of his own captains at Sinigaglia in December 1502. One hand washes
the
other, capiscono?

The death of his father, the Pope, and the hostility of the new
pontiff
Julius II (Guiliano della Rovere) frustrated Caesar’s schemes. He had
to let his conquests go and turned to Spain for aid. In 1506, he was
arrested in Naples and sent to Spain where he died in combat in 1507.
His last words? "I have provided, in the course of my life, for
everything except death; and now, alas! I am to die, although
entirely
unprepared!" I mean, he was thirty-two years old. What does one so
young know about death? On second thought, he had dealt it to others.
Sleep now, Cesare!

Speaking of sleep. On August 17, 1697, Samuel Clinton, of Tunbury,
near
Bath , England, fell into a deep sleep from which he did not awake
(even when bled by a doctor and having pins stuck deep into his arm)
until the following nineteenth of November. When he finally woke up
again his mother ran to him to ask how he felt. "Very well, thank
you,"
he said, "I’ll take some bread and cheese."

Now that is what my history book said. I want to know some important
things: was anyone feeding him and did he drink while he was asleep?
Did anyone think of sprinkling flour around the bed to see if he was
getting up during the night to munch down on a Ding-Dong and quaff a
YooHoo? What was he doing just before this sleeping fit hit him? Was
he
a growing teen (mine sleeps a bit more than I think is healthy?) What
woke him up? What the heck was going on here? Was he just trying to
get
out of going to school? Doing his chores? I guess mom had to wash him
and take care of those functions we all know must have gone on. And
all
he can say is he wants a cheese sandwich! He missed the World Series,
the entire presidential campaign, and some episodes of Survivor, and
all he wants is a cheese sandwich. Okay. Fine. Give him the presliced
American and some Wonder Bread. Anybody have any more information on
this? Let me know if you do.

What have we learned from this? Sometimes it is better to be a Duke
than a Cardinal? Be careful what you name something or someone:
Caesars
just have to go out and conquer? A family tragedy can still lead to
some family benefits for the survivors? It is good to keep young sons
employed? How about kids, no matter how long they sleep, always wake
up
hungry? Notice that I did not make any reference to Samuel Clinton’s
last name?

If you are out to impress a princess or two by giving her a bouquet
of
roses, the kingdom of Naples or my columns, please remember to keep
my
name and sig on these presents.

Okay, who drank my YooHoo?
J.  Ellsworth Weaver

SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats

=====
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If you are interested, contact me at
astroweaver at yahoo.com or 805.473.8867

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