ANST - FW: Musing on August 31st -- Riding Across the Bay

[j'lynn yeates]

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- -----Original Message-----
From: Ellsworth Weaver [mailto:astroweaver at yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2000 23:13
To: 2thpix at surfari.net
Subject: Musing on August 31st -- Riding Across the Bay


Dear Folk,

A fortune teller once told the fellow whose birthday we celebrate
today, August 31, 12 CE, that he had as much chance of being made
emperor as he had of riding dry shod over the Bay of Naples.

You may remember from yesterday that Octavian won the war against
Mark
Antony and became sole ruler of Rome. He was later accorded the title
Augustus Caesar. We read about him in an earlier column "Musing on
August 19th -- Auggie and the Turks."

Livia Drusilla was Augustus' third wife. She had two sons, Tiberius
and
Drusus Germanicus, by a previous marriage.  Tiberius, succeeded him
when he died at Nola on August 19, 14 CE.  Tiberius (emperor 14 - 37
CE) was dark, brooding and vengeful.

After his death, finally, the rule of Rome went to the emperor, Gaius
Caesar Augustus Germanicus who was the third child of Augustus'
adopted
grandson, Germanicus, and Augustus' granddaughter Agrippina.
Agrippina
died mysteriously, some say Tiberius arranged it, and Germanicus may
well have been poisoned by his son. That is just a rumor. Remember
that
Livia was a great one for poison but did she teach little Gaius? I
don’t know.

Gaius had traveled with his father, Germanicus, in northern
campaigns.
He liked to go around the camp wearing his father's boots, which
earned
him his nickname of "Little Boots" -- Caligula. I know, you have all
these horrid pictures of Caligula as some sort monster. It was not
always so. The army liked him, lots. They did not like Tiberius.

He was known to be amiable, spirited, and clever. He was well loved
by
his family – a good boy. Now some later grey-faced historians claim
that Caligula was some sort of bad seed. Nonsense! Raised to the
purple
by the Praetorian Prefect, the Senate had no choice but to accept
him.
Caligula moved quickly to win friends. Unlike today’s politicians, he
campaigned for popularity after he took over. He abolished the sales
tax. Hey, I would vote for him right now! He also recalled those
exiled
in the reign of Tiberius. Oh great, folks could come back home.
Tiberius exiled grunches of folk when he was too tired to have them
just executed. He stopped or at least suppressed the use of paid
informers. He threw great public games, shows, and amusing parties.
What do you want? He was a great change from Tiberius. Then came The
Illness.

At the age of 26, seven months after he became Caesar, Caligula came
down with a fever. He was near to dying for several weeks. Somehow
the
happy guy was replaced by a demon. It has happened before.

When Caligula recovered he began to encourage folks to talk about
others. He held treason trials. He reversed his stance about paid
informers. Not a great climate for trust and love. His bizarre
behavior
was incredibly public. He commandeered a building, rounded up some
senators’ wives, and opened a brothel. He also then required
attendance
and took role.  One source said that he actually had palace passwords
like "kiss me, sweetie" and made the grizzled old guards have to say
them. Gosh, that must have been fun! There was that legend about him
making his horse consul of Roman. I am not convinced that was true.
He
even tossed poor old uncle Claudius tossed into the Tiber in February
just to see if he could swim. The little madcap!

Of course all those parties and games cost money. Caligula quickly
ran
through the treasury that Tiberius had left. The only thing to do was
to extort cash from the wealthy. Why? Because the poor did not have
any! A threat here, a confiscation there, a small slip and someone
falling a few times on a sword, and the rich folk were persuaded.

This all sounds like pranks but Caligula had folks executed, lots of
folks. Then he screwed with foreign policy and with the army. Early
in
40 CE Caligula marched with an army into Gaul. He was looking for
wine,
cheese, EuroDisneyland and a few Jerry Lewis movies. He did manage to
collect lots of plunder. He marched his troops to the northern
shoreline of Gaul as a prelude to the invasion of Britain but then
ordered them to collect seashells there, which he called the spoils
of
the conquered ocean.  He was a greater god than Neptune, he declared.
I
doubt that Neptune was amused.

Caligula pursued his pretensions to divinity further; in the summer
of
40 CE he ordered his statue to be erected in the Temple at Jerusalem,
but under the suave persuasion of Herod Agrippa, Caligula
countermanded
this potentially disastrous order. Jerusalem was a hotbed of
rebellion,
the Maccabbees and Siccariis (dagger men) were whipping up the Jewish
folk against Rome. Nothing like having a Roman madman’s statue in
their
Temple. No sir!

The Roman populace had by now grown weary of this mad and
unpredictable
tyrant. By January 41 CE, four months after he returned from his
expedition to Gaul, even his army guard was feeling out of sorts.
They
had not been paid in quite some time. Little Boots had forgotten the
immortal words of Kevin Webb, "This isn’t a hobby!" They determined
to
kill the emperor, and strangely, no one revealed the plot. Caligula
was
murdered leaving the Palatine Games by Cassius Chaerea, tribune of
the
Praetorian guard, Cornelius Sabinus, and others.

Caligula's wife Caesonia and his daughter were also put to death.
There
was no one to swear vengeance against the perps. Okay, the Guard had
thought of everything except who should then be emperor. They
searched
through the palace and found a stuttering lame guy hiding behind the
curtains. It was Caligula’s uncle, funny old Claudius. Well, he was
harmless enough. They decided to make him emperor. But that is
another
story.

Remember about riding over the Bay of Naples? Yep, when Caligula
ascended to emperor, he had a bridge built out of boats, had it
covered
with packed dirt, and rode his horse dryly across the bay. So there!

What have we learned from this? Army brats are trouble? Greatness
often
skips not only one generation but sometimes leaves the tracks
entirely?
Angelic youth, satanic old age? How about, always pay your troops?
Guarantee that is a testable objective.

If you are out tossing uncle in the river, fighting with Neptune, or
just riling the Jewish folk and you feel like forwarding these
missives, you know I would love you to do that if you keep my name
and
sig attached. Check out the archives for earlier works. Link is at
the
bottom of the page.

Giving up on Jerry Lewis movies and the Gauls,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats



=====
SmileWeavers Astrology Charts & Interpretations
Modern & Medieval (but always discreet)
If you are interested, contact me at
astroweaver at yahoo.com or 805.473.8867
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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