ANST - FW: Musting on July24th -- Shaft in Antioch

[j'lynn yeates]

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From: Ellsworth Weaver [mailto:astroweaver at yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, July 24, 2000 23:38
To: 2thpx at surfari.net
Subject: Musting on July24th -- Shaft in Antioch


Dear Folk,

Today, July 24, marks the deaths of two saints: one who stood up on a
pillar, the other who stood up to the Scourge of God.

Let’s go with the pole sitter or stander first, shall we? Simeon the
Stylite spent thirty-seven years of his life standing on a pillar in
the desert around Antioch.  Now some radio DJs think that being up on
a
cherry picker an entire weekend is a tough gig! Simeon was not what
anyone would call a very worldly man; you probably know someone a lot
like him in your life. He got religion really hard at a young age. He
was listening to his first sermon, “Blessed are the pure of heart,”
and
some Divine force got hold of him. He asked the preacher, and this
was
around 400 CE, how to become pure of heart. The preacher answered
that
becoming a monk might be the best thing.  Simeon signed up but a
voice
told him to “dig ever deeper.”

After ten years of monkish life, he got permission to become a
hermit.
He built himself a round enclosure and shackled his leg to a pole in
the center so he could not leave. This strange behavior worried the
established church at the time. The bishop of Antioch came out and
told
Simeon to quit the chained-for-God bit. Simeon did obey. I think the
bishop and other prelates were worried because Simeon was getting
some
good press out of all of this. Folks came by to gawk and then to ask
Simeon advice. God only knows that pretty soon the folks would expect
to see the bishop out there in rags, chained to a post. That would
never do.

It was those crowds who first made Simeon think of living higher up,
out of their reach. Just like at a rock concert, folks that came by
wanted to take a bit of clothing for a souvenir. Simeon did not have
a
lot to give them.  He built a platform nine feet high on a shaft
(stylos in Greek), to prevent people from grabbing him while he was
at
prayer. And he did pray! One biographer, Theoderet, stopped counting
Simeon’s prayerful bows at over 1244 in one session.  The nine feet
one
was not enough, folks could still interrupt him to ask silly
questions
like how did he sleep and where was the nearest clean rest room. So
Simeon kept building up. He built an 18 foot one, a 33 foot one, and
eventually one over 60 feet tall.

As to the visitors’ questions, he slept tied to a pole on the top of
the pillar. Sometimes he slept leaning over a small railing around
the
top. He did not sleep or eat much. Clean restrooms were in the gas
station down the street, just like the always are. And no, he did not
get off the pillar to do that. Don’t ask.

So Simeon stood there, talked with God, got as close to Heaven as he
could on Earth. He was sort of a wick on the candle of God. How is
that
for a pretty conceit? He was snuffed on this date 459 CE. (Hey, I
could
not taper off.)

Now about the other guy who stood up to the Scourge of God. You do
know
the title, do you not? That was Attila the Hun. The saint’s name was
Lupus (how’s that, Wolfie?) Lupus, called in French "Loup", was born
at
Toul, Gaul. He married the sister of St. Hilary of Arles, but after
six
years of marriage they parted by mutual agreement. That was before
California divorce courts. He gave his wealth to the poor instead of
the ex-wife and her lawyers, entered Lerins Abbey under St.
Honoratus,
and about 426 CE was named Bishop of Troyes. In 429 CE, he
accompanied
St. Germanus of Auxerre to Britain to combat Pelagianism there, and
on
his return, devoted himself to his episcopal duties.

I know there are some folks out there who just have to know what
Pelagianism is. Well, it is bad! Stop doing it! Now, are you any
better
off? Okay, Pelagianism, in Christian theology, is a rationalistic and
naturalistic heretical doctrine concerning grace and morals, which
emphasizes human free will as the decisive element in human
perfectibility and minimizes or denies the need for divine grace and
redemption. Or, so you think your works will get you into Heaven?
Think
again! Can we move along now?

In about 450 CE Attila, King of the Huns, moved his folks into Gaul.
They were cruising, hanging out, demonstrating trick riding and some
archery to the locals. They were a long way from home and wanted
company. This was before USOs which were built just to avoid this
kind
of behavior. It is told that when Attila was approaching the town of
Troyes in 453 CE, Lupus got all dolled up in his bishop robes,
vestments and hat and met Attila at the gates. When Lupus asked Mr. A
who he was, Attila told him “Man, they call me ‘The Scourge of God!’”

Lupus looked up at him, blinked his baby-blues at this shaggy,
smelly,
rugged, bloody conqueror and said, “Well, if you are the instrument
of
God, you can only do what God gives you to do.” This confused Attila.
He spared the town, took Lupus over his saddle and headed out. When
Attila was defeated at Chalons, Lupus was accused of helping him
escape
and was forced to leave Troyes. He lived as a hermit for two years
and
then was allowed to return to Troyes. Lupus supposedly died on this
date in 478 CE.  I don’t know. Maybe Lupus and Attila had more in
common than you might think. Scourges were pretty heavily used by the
more extreme Christians of the day. It said so in one of my books.

So what have we learned here? Some folks get high in rather unusual
ways? A wolf and a Hun can get along pretty well if both set good
boundaries?  Pelagianism will get you whacked and then thrown into
the
lake of eternal fire? No matter how holy you are trying to be, some
folks just got to ask dumb questions? In a divorce, some folks get
the
Hun and some just get the stylos? How about the established church
just
will never understand those who talk directly with the Divine
Presence?


As always and ever, you want to show these heretical musings to
others
(and are relatively unafraid to the lake of fire), go right ahead. Do
keep my name and sig. attached lest you be taken for a Pelagianist.

Looking for a clean restroom in life,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats



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