ANST - FW: Musing on July 28th : Gunpowder, Golf and Gals

[j'lynn yeates]

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- -----Original Message-----
From: Ellsworth Weaver [mailto:astroweaver at yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, July 29, 2000 02:03
To: 2thpix at surfari.net
Subject: Musing on July 28th : Gunpowder, Golf and Gals


Dear Folk,

On this day, July 28, 1565, Mary Stuart decreed that her new husband,
Lord Darnley, should be named and styled "King of Scotland." Somehow
that spelled the end of the marriage.

Mary Stuart, also called Mary, Queen of Scots was born in 1542 to
James
V, king of Scotland and his second wife Mary of Guise. She became
queen
of Scotland before she was a week old. Aww!  She was raised in France
and married to France’s Dauphin (king in-waiting) when she was a
blushing sixteen. Mary insisted on wearing white at her wedding which
set a new trend. Formerly white was the color of mourning. Hubby I,
who
became King Frank II, died the next year. Maybe she knew something.
Fact is, her whole life was filled with portents.

Incidentally, anyone out there know who her mother-in-law (Frank’s
mum)
was? Let’s see those hands. Yep, Kate de Medici! You got it.

She came back home to Scotland in 1561 to find the place firmly
Protestant. Changed while she was in France. Oh well, Mary coped
pretty
well with that. Her half-brother James Stuart became her counselor
and
did his best to get her into the Scottish ways of doing things. In
gratitude for his work, she made Jimmy the Earl of Moray. As we have
discussed earlier, the Scots are a wee bit picky about the behavior
of
their rulers. Speaking of portents, it is said that when she was
waiting to come home, she saw a fishing boat sink with all its crew
drown. When she landed in Scotland, there was an eclipse.

The subjects found their hackles rising when Mary in 1565 up and
married her cousin, Henry Stewart(hey, the spelling was changed to
make
it seem a little more distant), Lord Darnley, and did it in a Roman
Catholic ceremony. She gave him the title King for a wedding gift.
Now
there was a giving lady. Half-bro Jimmy was enraged about the
marriage
and helped lead a rebellion against her. Mary went out into the field
herself and quelled (nice word for kicking butt) the rebellion
herself.

And she lived happily ever after, right? You know me better than
that.
Henry wanted more than just being named king, he wanted that title
secured so that if Mary had no kids, the crown would pass to his side
of the family. Oooo, asking a bit much, he was. How safe would Mary
have been if she had said yes?

Mary had a male secretary, Dave Rizzio. He was a good friend and had
the Queen’s ear. He was also a *shudder* Catholic. Henry Stewart
convinced himself that it wasn’t anything wrong with good King Hank,
it
was that rat Rizzio. In 1566, King Hank, Brother Jimmy, and a bunch
of
Protestant folk, got together to give Rizzio a little good ole
Scottish
hazing – a fraternity prank, sort of.-- Rizzio got himself deceased
as
a consequence.

Strangely, less than a year later, King Hank was staying sick in bed
when the house he was living in was blown up by a teensy bit of
gunpowder. Even stranger, while King Hank was not found in bed, he
was
found outside strangled to death. Must have tripped over a
clothesline
on the way out of the explosion. Who could have done such a monstrous
deed? Some folks think it was James Hepburn, Earl of Bothwell.
Bothwell
had been a sort of close friend for Mary since Jimmy raised that
earlier rebellion and then when Rizzio was so rude as to die.

Did Mary know of this in advance? There were some letters and sonnets
allegedly written by Mary to Bothwell found in a wee casket. The
"evidence" was in the nature of "Gee, it would be a bad thing if King
Hank were to be blown up. Got any gunpowder, My Dearest Bothwell?"
That
correspondence’s originals "disappeared" and their copies were not
very
believable. Still...

Did Mary dig Bothwell? You bet! He divorced his wife and married
Queen
Mary in a Protestant ceremony. Again, the Scots were scandalized.
Never
did want poor Mary to have any fun. The Scots revolted; Mary took the
field; Mary lost. On June 15, 1567 Mary’s forces were defeated at
Carberry Hill. She left Bothwell to his own devices, surrendered
herself to the rebels, and signed an abdication in favor of her son
(by
King Hank) James VI.

While she was on her island prison, she gave still birth to a pair of
twins by Bothwell. She escaped, raised another 6000 men and was
promptly defeated by her Brother Jimmy. Seeing no other way out, she
ran south to take refuge at the court of her cousin Elizabeth I of
England.

Lizzie wasted no time in imprisoning Mary. Some folks, Roman
Catholics
mostly, thought Mary should be queen of England right after Mary I
(Tudor) died in 1558.There were many plots to spring Mary from jail.
Mary’s page, Tony Babington, plotted to whack Lizzie. He got found
out
and Mary took a major fall for it. Lizzie had her tried for treason.
Mary lost the trial, was sentenced to death on October 25, 1586.
Lizzie
hemmed and hawed until February 1587 when she decided that Mary was
too
dangerous to live. Remember that Lizzie was Henry VIII and Anne
Boleyn’s daughter. She knew how to make hard decisions.

Mary tried to be a good sport about it all, was nice to everyone
including her headsman. It took three blows to sever her head. A few
moments later, her body appeared to move. Everyone was freaked until
they found out that Mary’s little terrier, Geddon, was hiding under
her
corpse. They took him away and cleaned everything up. I am sure they
did not hurt the dog. They did burn everything like the chopping
block,
her Bible, and most all the things with poor Mary's blood on it.

Some other factoids: Mary was probably much prettier than her
portraits, she was almost six feet tall, she was a Sagittarius (tad
impulsive and playful), was the first woman to play golf in public
(caught heck for going a round right after Darnley’s murder), Lizzie
and Mary never met, Darnley had syphilis (his skull has recently been
examined), Bothwell died mad and in chains.

Mary and Darnley’s son, little James VI, not only was King of
Scotland
but later was crowned as James I of England after his second cousin,
Elizabeth I, died.

What have we learned from all of this? None of Kate de Medici’s kids
every had a happy life? You can search for your spouse’s murderer on
a
golf course? Nah! Nobody would believe that. It is not always good to
be the king? Marrying your cousin may be okay in West Virginia but is
a
little out there in Scotland? Pay attention to portents and signs?
This
one is for Brother Jimmy Stuart,: "When you swim in a creek and an
Earl
bites your cheek, that’s a Moray!" Put down that club right now!

Go now and find something royal to do. If it lifts yer kilt to
forward
these pitiful few words to others, leave my name and sig upon them so
you are not blamed.

Simmering up a big steamin' bowl of haggis,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats


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