ANST - On Another subject entirely

[K.C. Moon]

Greetings Duchess Larissa and all others,

At 08:38 PM 5/30/00 GMT, you wrote:
>
>When I see someone miss their salute, as I said, I am very sad.  And I think 
>it is because perhaps no one ever taught them this aspect of the game.
>
>what do you all think?

>From my own experience and observations, the first time a fighter asks to
bear your favor or the first time you offer one is one of those moments
that most SCAers come in to the group dreaming about.  I think in most
cases they are aware of the custom.  In fact, I suspect our newer members
are more attentive to this custom than those of us who have been in a
while, have made more friends, found more things to do, gotten busier, etc.

Another thing that's good to remember is that the matter of salutes and
consorts watching fights is really a private, not public matter.  Yes,
there are certain tournaments where such ceremony is desired and expected,
but in general, what the fighter and consort do to honor each other is up
to them.  And certainly not everyone is going to do so in the same manner.

I know of ladies who do not watch their lords fight for personal reasons.
Either they get too overwrought watching, or are superstitious about it.
There are fighters who don't want their consorts watching because they feel
too self-concious about it, or they always seem to lose or do something
clumsy or stupid whenever their consort is watching.  (Yes, these are real
people.  I could name names but I won't.)  So the fighter fights and the
consort isn't watching.  But they have agreed on that, they expect it, it's
what they want.  The fighters still salute.  The consorts still acknowledge
in their hearts.

Now, if there's a situation where a fighter *wants* the consort to be
there, and for some reason or another he/she doesn't want to be or doesn't
think/realize it's important to the fighter, they really need to sit down
together and discuss it.  In fact, it's not a bad idea for long time
couples to periodically reassess their expectations about such things.

Overall, good Duchesse, I don't think people are unaware of the custom. And
hopefully fighers/archers/equestrians/etc and their significant others are
communicating with each other so everyone knows each others expectations.  

My two heifers worth,

Mari

>
>Larissa
>
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