ANST - Rudeness by any other name.....

[Jennene Stanley]

Greetings,

I know there are some that would like to see threads related to this subject
matter axed, so, I must beg your indulgence. While I will not address the
situation that was previously under discussion (I was not there, nor do I
know the parties involved, nor is it any of my business).  What I do wish to
address is rudeness and pettiness in general.

When I first scanned through the posts that started this dialog, I
immediately recalled an incident that happened to me just last December. As
I was kneeling before the Crown to receive an award, there was a person
sitting in the first row who was grumbling in obvious disgust loud enough
that my husband (who had escorted me) heard it.  This person was sitting
with two Peers. While I do not know if anyone said anything to this person
later, no one in the group seemed bothered by this person's grumblings   My
husband did not tell me about the grumblings until much later because he did
not wish to ruin the moment for me. I did not seek any sort of redress or
resolution because the character-assassination I would have to undergo
simply did not make it worth the trouble. I have also learned long ago not
to allow the opinion of others dictate the opinion of one's self. What upset
me is that my husband had to hear it. (and you attached folks know how one
is protective of the other)

Which brings me to another matter. It is very well and good to say that one
should have a one-on-one talk with a person with whom one has an issue. But
what happens when you encounter a  wide-eyed "I didn't mean it to sound that
way" or "I was just doing it for the good of the
Kingdom/Barony/person/etc...."  Then this person often continues the
behavior by going all over Hades and half of Texas labeling *you* as the
troublemaker, or, in some cases, drudging up old issues that had been
resolved years ago in order to incite people against each other.  What does
one do, when one does go to the people who are in a position to resolve a
situation, these same people condemn the intitial action, then after finding
out who is involved decides that *same* action is justified?  It seems that
a double standard is in place.

I will probably catch all kinds of hell of even bringing this up, but I
really feel that this is a problem that we on the whole really need to
address and continue to monitor.  In my opinion, much of the problem is that
people who are not in a position of Peerage and have aspirations in that
department do not dare to "rock the boat" when rude and petty situations
involve a Peer. They feel by publicly discussing a situation involving a
Peer, they sink any hope to be a Peer themselves because of the possible
(dare I say *probable*) repercussions.

In closing, I want to make it clear that I am not discussing the ill-timed,
bad-hair-day tacky comment, nor am I addressing conflicts that crop up and
can be resolved with a little discussion and common sense. These things
happen. We are all human. However, we must all strive to make sure that the
Dream for one is not another's Nightmare.

Anya
Jennene Stanley
***********************************************************************
"Chase the light I see ahead. Luminate the path I tread.
 I live to be the best I can"                       - Queensrÿche
***********************************************************************
"Mooharpist"    send e-mail to : Mooharpist at mmcable.com
 Elizabethan (& Regency)  Website http://phelan.ou.edu/anya

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