ANST - Musing on June 26th Oh Ricky, You're So Fine (Part II)

[j'lynn yeates]

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2of2 from Sir B.  put them together, read in depth, and try to keep
the politics straight ... pure headache material

enjoy

'wolf



Dear Folk,

Thank you for your patience.

Where were we then? Ah yes, Eddie IV was on the throne, now married
to
Elizabeth Woodville, the beautiful widow of a rather common knight.
Eddie’s brother George Duke of Clarence married Warwick’s elder
daughter, Isabel, and Eddie was hacked. No consideration there for
Eddie embarrassing Warwick on his mission to France. Ricky is now
Duke
of Gloucester.

Warwick was very peeved at Eddie. In 1469 Warwick did a little
channel
surfing and found himself allied with Maggie of Anjou, the Xena of
the
Lancastrians, and her son Edward Lancaster. What is worse, Warwick
talked his new son-in-law George Duke of Clarence into switching
sides
and deserting his brothers. Warwick even married up his other
daughter,
the lovely Anne, to Edward Lancaster to seal the deal. Warwick tried
to
bring Ricky over but Ricky stayed loyal to his brother Eddie. Good
lad.

You have to hand it to Warwick, he did things right. He came back
across the channel and kicked York butt. Eddie and Ricky fled off to
Burgundy. Warwick sprang Hank VI, the old king, from the slammer and
set him up as king. Admittedly we do not know if Hank VI even knew he
had been deposed for awhile.

Eddie and Ricky did not just sit there drinking Burgundy dry.
Everyone
knows that burgundy is fairly sweet anyway. I once tried drinking
Canada Dry and almost drowned. Eddie and Ricky came back and beat on
old Warwick. George Clarence switched sides, again. Surprised?
Meanwhile Warwick and Edward Lancaster (married to Anne Warwick) got
themselves acutely and chronically deceased. By 1471 Eddie was back
in
the saddle for good.

It seemed important to make sure the Lancasters stayed down so Eddie
ordered Hank VI to see his primary care physician at a special York
HMO. Hank expired of “natural causes” – over abundance of iron I
hear.
Shed a tear.

During the unpleasantness, Lizzie went off and had a son by Eddie.
They
named him Eddie (as in Eddie V). Later on they had another son whom
they dubbed Ricky York (after his uncle); aw.

Ricky asked his brother Eddie’s permission to marry the widow Anne.
Anne was pretty darned rich being one of the heirs of Warwick and the
Neville’s fortune. George claimed he was Anne’s protector. Somehow
Eddie never trusted George again after those trips across the
channel.
Ricky got to marry his childhood sweetheart, Anne. I know, you saw
Richard III and think that Anne was some helpless pawn in the
clutches
of the ruthless Ricky. Maybe that is true but they did know each
other
pretty darned well..

George somehow was not smart. One of the words on the street was that
he had obtained some evidence that Eddie and Lizzie’s wedding wasn’t
legit. He was “discreetly” showing this evidence to
one-person-at-a-time. Eddie arrested George and was going to quietly
try him for treason. Ricky actually pleaded for his brother’s life.
Lizzie’s kin were very hacked at George, of course, and at Ricky for
muddying up a perfectly good lynching. In 1478, just after Isabel’s
death, Eddie did the right thing by his bride and had George see that
doctor of his.

Not much happened in the next few years until 1483. Richard and Anne
lived sweetly together in their childhood home. All was cool and the
kingdom prospered. Of course in April 1483, Eddie IV died. In his
will
he named Ricky to be guardian of Eddie V and protector of the realm.
Lizzie’s folk, the Woodvilles, worried about being sent back to the
trailer courts decided to just take care of little Eddie V
themselves.
Ricky got wind of it, drove down to London and grabbed the boy from
those yokels.

Then within a week that evidence that George had gotten hold of
suddenly surfaced. Seems that Edward IV was really already betrothed
and could not have legitimately married Lizzie. Whoops! That makes
Eddie V and Ricky York born on the wrong side of the tapestry, so to
speak. While embarrassing, that did mean that the only one with claim
to the throne was Ricky. He took over with the wishes of Parliament
and
the people of England. Mostly.

Two years does not seem like a long time for anything. Ricky III got
to
be king only for two short years. On August 22, 1485 the last
Lancaster
Henry (VII) Tudor’s forces met Ricky III at the battle of Bosworth
Field. Remember the “a horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” scene?
Hank Tudor only won because the Stanleys betrayed Ricky at the last
minute.  Ricky III perished himself there. Hank did not even fight in
the battle. Coward!

Tudor was from an illegitimate line, himself, but he did win that
battle, sort of. Who killed those two sons of Eddie IV? It may well
have been Ricky but it may have also been Hank Tudor. With all this
legitimizing of bastard kids, Eddie’s kids were much better claimants
to the throne. For that matter, there were at least ten others with
better claim to the throne. Somehow those folks all died, must have
been in the same HMO, within a few years of Hank VII’s ascension.
Puzzling evidence.

Hank tried to look a little more presentable by marrying Eddie IV’s
eldest daughter, Lizzie York. From this line we get Hank VIII, a
pleasant guy who had some dysfunctional marriages, and his daughter
Lizzie I, the Virgin Queen. Gee whiz, Shakespeare was writing about
the
time of Lizzie’s reign. Isn’t it interesting that Ricky III, the guy
killed by Lizzie’s grandfather, was portrayed as such a bad guy?
Hunchback and everything. History is a bit confused as to if Ricky
was
deformed but it made great theatre. Look what Disney did with Victor
Hugo.

So ends the War of the Roses and the short reign of Ricky III. Hero,
villain, or just this  guy? You decide. What have we learned with all
of this? You might be careful of channel surfing when someone else is
trying to watch? Following your uncle’s advice might not be so hot?
Some bastards shouldn’t be king but some wind up being one anyway?
Marrying your childhood sweetheart is worth the wait? Write
flattering
things about your patron’s family? I don’t know, I think I’ll stick
with  “History is written by the winners.”

And yes, “Looking for Richard” is simply wonderful. Go rent it and
see
Al Pacino deconstructing “Richard III.” Wynona Rider, you were
luscious
as Anne. I would stab myself if you asked it, too. Kevin Spacey was
very deep and crafty as Buckingham. The whole thing is worth owning.
Buy a copy and give it to you local theatre group.

As always, forward to whomever but keep my name and email on it.
Maybe
Wynona will want to get in touch.

Go out and do something historical,
Ells


=====
"That proves you are unusual," returned the Scarecrow; "and I am
convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world
are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a
tree, and live and die unnoticed." -- L. Frank Baum in _The Land of
Oz_

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