ANST - Taking the Ideals of the SCA Home

gunnora at gunnora at
Fri Oct 13 09:05:50 PDT 2000

Rupert from Steppes said:
>If you expect your boss, or your significant other to treat 
>you like a knight would, you are cruising for a bruising on a 
>short road.  The dream is refuge and inspiration-but you must 
>awaken sometime. Be ready. Don't expect to bring it home with 

I strenuously and emphatically must disagree with Rupert.  

I think you *should* expect your spouse to treat you with honor, consideration,
chivalry and courtesy. If he or she doesn't you need a new spouse!  There is
NEVER any reason to expect or allow abuse, dishonor, discourtesy, or pain from
a spouse.

And you should expect that your boss will also treat you with honor, consideration,
chivalry and courtesy -- they're required to do some of this by law in some
instances, and if you have an abusive boss, then that's a recommendation that
you should dust off your resume and look for a work environment where your superiors
and co-workers treat one another with courtesy and respect.

You should not only expect people to treat with honor, consideration, chivalry
and courtesy, you should ensure that this happens as much as possible.  There
is absolutely no reason to settle for less -- and absolutely no reason to allow
abuse, much less settle for it.

As for "don't expect to bring it home with you", why, what a complete and useless
waste of time the SCA would be if we *didn't* take home its ideals with us.
 The SCA can be a place where you learn these ideals, and learn how to live
them.  Then you should take them back to your eveyday life and find ways to
apply them there as well.

I have to point out that when I first started in the SCA, back when rocks were
still soft, I was a quiet, shy, withdrawn, "gray person".  I never said anything
to anybody, I hardly talked above a whisper, and although I was drawn to the
SCA I thought of "all those wonderful people" as being way above me.  

But then I built a persona.  I made this Viking lady be a bunch of things I
wasn't -- willing to speak her mind, courageous enough to have opinions even
when they were unpopular, brave enough to be able to apologize if needed, able
to try new things, a person who was a talented artist.  And interestingly enough,
over the years as I played this role, one day I found that I was no longer wearing
a mask, but that I had become that person.

This carries over to my real life as well.  By bringing the SCA into my regular
life, I found that a warrior was able to ask the boss for a raise.  I found
that a performer could get up and deliver a report in front of co-workers. 
I found that an artisan could create impressive presentations for a new client.
I found that a peer could use conflict-resolution skills in working with my
own employees.  I found that an autocrat could arrange and bring off a conference
that thousands of companies attended.  All of the many skills I was learning
in the SCA have a place in the real world as well.

I also found that acting courteously and chivalrously was as effective and well-appreciated
at home and at work as it was at an event.  I found that if I expected coworkers
and my family to behave with personal honor that they tended to want to live
up to my best expectations of them.

You *should* expect to take the SCA home with you!


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