ANST - FW: Musing on Sept 14th -- Quiz Answers (Dante also died but who cares?)

[j'lynn yeates]

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- -----Original Message-----
From: Ellsworth Weaver [mailto:astroweaver at yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, September 14, 2000 23:23
To: 2thpix at surfari.net
Subject: Musing on Sept 14th -- Quiz Answers (Dante also died but who
cares?)


Dear Folk,

I am gratified at the three to four earnest responses I have received
giving their answers to the quiz and asking me to assign them a
grade.
Some have even offered, ahem, "favors" for a better grade. So far no
one has offered to vacuum the house or clean the litter box. Even I
have my price. Without further adieaux let us get to the answers.

(10 points each)

1.  St. Augustine is best known as the patron saint of

A. Hippos
B. New York college kids on spring break
C. hagiographers
D. haggis-eating Scotsmen
E. other _________________________

Response A is what is known as a sneaky distracter. Hippo was where
Auggie was from. The patron saints -- it does take two -- for Hippos,
however, are St. George and St. Martha. Read Marshall’s "Tons of Fun
–
or Meeting with Remarkable Hippos" for details. Response B was the
obvious right answer. St. Auggie is the patron saints of hell-raising
scofflaws. Give yourself a pat on the back and an extra brewsky if
you
go this. C You must know that hagiographers have no patron saint; it
would be playing favorites or what we historians call "sucking up." D
Haggis eating Scotsmen used to have St. Andrew. I am not sure they
have
him still. They may have lost him in the rain. Then again, Rod
Stewart
may be the new one.

2.  Gaius Octavius was later give this title by the Roman Senate

A. Pappa Smurf
B. King of Practically Everything
C. Grand Poohbah and Muckety-muck
D. Playmate of the Year
E.  other ______________________________

You know, I love all the responses. B was the overwhelming favorite.
A.
Pappa Smurf has such an authenticity to it. C. Grand Poohbah is the
Royal Order of Badgers’ (ROB) equivalent to Augustus. D And if
Augustus
could not be Playmate of the Year, at least he could have judged the
contest. Hef was a lot younger then.

3.  In the battle of Manzikert in 1071 CE, the Byzantines
______________

A. learned the meaning of the word "slobberknocking"
B. decided Armenia was not such a great place after all
C. found that Alp Arslan could not be climbed by elephants
D. that the eyes outnumbered the neighs
E. other _________________________________________

This was a tough one. I think that E All of the above would be the
best. Slobberknocking is a wrestling term. And yes, you are supposed
to
know wrestling terms. Where is your kultcha? You might remember that
Alp Arslan was a pretty crafty but fair Moslem Turk who whooped the
Byzantines. And then there was D, remember that Andronicus put
Romanus
on a mule. The onlookers on the road back to Constantinople attacked
Romanus and put out his eyes. Okay, bad pun.

4.  In 1581 Dr. John Dee's life took a strange turn. He
_________________

A. decided that Britanny Spears was the anti-Christ
B. had a date with an angel
C. decided to swap clothes and wives with Edward Kelley
D. ran for court astrologer and then for his life
E. other __________________________________

A. Is not correct. We all know that Brittany Spears is the
anti-Christ
but John Dee still bought her albums. B Is the best choice. Dr. Dee
met
an angel on that date, Uriel by name. C Incidentally, Edward Kelley,
his seer, told Dee that the angels told him that Dee and Kelley
should
swap wives. Really! Straight-faced, he did. Dee was regretful but
said
he would obey the angels. Mrs. Dee and Mrs. Kelley kaboshed it
straight
away. Mrs. Dee was a looker and Kelley fancied her. What the angels
really said we don’t know. D They did have to run for their lives but
that was later. Gotcha!

5.  On at a small hill called The Horns of Hattin _______________

A. some Aggies opened a ski resort
B. Charlie Byrd called the folks to jazz
C. Reynald of Chatillon finally learned to behave
D. there’s an old rugged cross
E. other ___________________________________

A I apologize for calling anyone from Texas A&M an "Aggie." I know
better, I just slipped. Please forgive me. I shall try to use the
proper term -- "Agro-American" -- in the future. Is there still a ski
slope at College Station? I thought that was really smurfy, honest I
did. Finally a use for astroturf! B. Charlie Byrd did call the people
to jazz. The people were busy doing something else, unfortunately. It
would be hard to choose between C and D. Reynald was whacked there.
Most of you knew that. Remember that the True Cross was lost by the
Christians there to Sulieman’s forces. Oh, whichever you wish is
correct.

6.  On July 31, 1291 an army made of former slaves took Beirut and
put
an end to the Crusader presence in Palestine and Syria. These
soldiers
were called

A. Sir by almost everyone
B. Bobby Knight
C. Barbaloots
D. Malamutes
E. Puss in Boots
F. other _____________________________

Answer A was a popular favorite; however, lots of folk did not speak
Anglais so it is wrong, wrong, wrong. Punish yourselves, you who
guessed this one. B Bobby Knight is wrong because that is either Mr.
Knight or Coach Knight to you! Answer C is a sentimental favorite but
no one chose it. I was crushed. Where are the Seuss fans out there? D
Malamutes are cute, husky fellers and probably would be horribly
uncomfortable in the Holy Land. Puss in Boots might be something one
called them...once. I think Mamluks would be my choice at E.

7.  On June 21st in 1306 Philip IV ("the fair") King of France gave
William de Nogaret a _________________

A. noogy
B. wedgy
C. secret massage
D. pet weasel
E.  other ______________________________

Response A could be correct. Phil could give anybody in Europe a
noogy.
Likewise B. C was another crafty distracter. The correct answer might
be E A secret message. D is out because not even someone as mean as
Philip would give ANYONE a weasel or a stoat. Yuck!

8.  Macbeth’s son Lulach became king right after dad died. What
happened then?

A. he went to EuroDisneyland
B. Malcolm III taught him to chill
C. he begot Lorenna McKennitt
D. he launched the first courtesy crusade
E. other ____________________________

A He did TRY to go to EuroDisneyland but it was closed for repairs
and
the ticket takers were on strike. Sorry. B I think is the best,
Malcolm
III killed him within a year. I am not sure about C. Lorenna is
wonderful but much younger than a straight begot here. D is obviously
wrong. Courtesy can never modify Crusade. Look it up.

9.  Complete this analogy: Titus was to Jerusalem as

A. Grant was to Richmond
B. salts are to a goose
C. mud is to a tin horn
D. earwig shall be to Chechov’s brain
E. other __________________________

A is pretty darned good, B is disgusting but also appropriate. C was
a
stretch but you "random abstract" folk could be right with it. D was
a
great and grating analogy. Remember "Wrath of Khan"? Gack! Okay, I
think E all of the above or something better, maybe badgers through a
box of Twinkies would be my choice. Give yourself whatever partial
credit you think you *honestly* deserve here.

10.  Complete this sentence: Don’t know much about the Middle Ages,
________________

A. that’s why I teach history and coach football
B. stare at the pictures and I turn the pages
C. pass the duct tape, please
D. so I read "Musings"
E. other ______________________

A, although very clever, is wrong. No football coach has ever taught
history. Maybe they have a class in which they sit and look out the
window while kids are supposed to read history books but *teach*?
Nope!
B is a "rock-in-roll heaven response." Gotta love it! Well, okay,
give
yourself 1 point for each year you were born before 1952 if you chose
this one. C is for all the SCA folk. Give yourselves 10 points if it
was only tippy, 5 points if it was with the flat of the blade (on a
round piece of rattan). D is sucking up to the max. Full credit!

Extra credit questions(2 pts each)

Come on, do you think you needed help with any of these? They were
gimmes! Good for Leo who answered the one about Vietnam. You can be
lesser Poohbah in the ROB any day for that.

You know the drill: forward these with my name and sig. attached. Be
good to each other; don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the
sweaty things.

There will be a make up test soon,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats


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