ANST - FW: Musing on September 20th -- Great Going, Alex!

[j'lynn yeates]

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- -----Original Message-----
From: Ellsworth Weaver [mailto:astroweaver at yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, September 20, 2000 14:51
To: 2thpix at surfari.net
Subject: Musing on September 20th -- Great Going, Alex!


Dear Folk,

Today I am celebrating the macho man of Macedonia, the only Greek to
be
called "The Great," that founder of dynasties, the spiritual father
of
Rome and Cleopatra, Alexander III. I have at least three dates listed
for his birthday. Well, he deserves all three. Let’s kick back with
some ouzo and feta, a little baklava and some dark thick coffee and
party!

Alex was born in 356 BCE to Philip II who was king of Macedonia and
Olympias who was a princess of Epirus. That was a lot to live up to.
Macedonia was its own kingdom northeast of Greece. It is a
mountainous
and rugged land. Folk from there are serious. Alex was born in Pella
which was the capital of the time. Philip took schooling seriously,
too; he brought in a tutor for young Alex: guy named Aristotle.
Aristotle taught his young princely charge rhetoric, literature,
science, medicine, and philosophy. Where are the curricula like that
in
today’s schools? Oh, I forgot, we want slaves not conquerors.

They said Alex was bound for glory. Witness these two legends:
Olympias, his mother, had a dream earlier that Zeus Himself in the
form
of a snake entered her womb and conceived Alexander. On the day of
his
birth an eagle, bird of Zeus, was sitting on the roof of the building
where he was born. Some might be reminded of the snake and eagle
symbol
of the Aztecs here.

Under Philip II, Macedonia had become strong and united, the first
real
nation in European history. Greece was reaching the end of its Golden
Age. Art, literature, and philosophy were still bopping, but the
small
city-states had refused to unite and were exhausted by wars. Philip
admired Greek culture a whole heap. He bought as much of it as was
for
sale. The Greeks despised the Macedonians as barbarians. Folks from
the
city rarely credit hill folk with any wisdom at all. Fools!

When Alex was nineteen in the summer of 336 BCE, Philip was
assassinated. Did his recently divorced ex-wife do it? Some
historians
think so. In any case, Alex was in the driver’s seat. When he looked
around, it was not a pretty sight. There were enemies abounding at
home
and revolution abroad. Alex did the politically correct thing of the
time: he executed everyone who meant him and his kingdom harm.
Remember, this was before DNA testing. He then headed off to Thessaly
on the eastern Greek peninsula to reestablish his benign and
enlightened rule. Sort of a rule of thumb: cut off their thumbs and
they have a hard time holding a sword. I made that part up. By the
end
of that summer, everyone was serene or at least quiet.

The Greeks decided that Alex would be best handled by encouraging his
desire to exsanguinate some enemies of their states, mainly the
Persians. Daddy Philip had already plotted out a nice campaign and it
was a natural for him. In the meantime, some Thracians decided to
leave
the Macedonian Co-prosperity Sphere without asking. Thrace was that
area north of Greece and extending over to Turkey. The Danube River
runs through it. Alexander persuaded them to return to the fold.
Okay,
he killed lots of them. When he got back to Greece the Illyrians were
being ill-mannered and the Thebens needed thrashing. Alex took care
of
business on both of them in one week.  Thebes was an object lesson.
Alex took the city in a rush, destroyed every building in it except
for
the temples of the gods and the house of the Greek poet Pindar. He
then
sold the survivors (estimated at about 8000) into slavery. Anybody
else
want to revolt?

Okay, it was time to go seek out some Persians. It was spring of 334
BCE when he crossed the Hellespont into Turkey with an army of 35,000
Macedonian and Greek troops, 5000 cavalry and 160 support ships. His
chief officers, all home boys to Macedonia, were Antigonus, Ptolemy,
and Seleucus.

Near the ancient city of Troy at the river Granicus, Alex caught an
army of Persians and Greek hoplites (mercs working the other side).
Although the enemy totaled 40,000, Alex’s force won with only 110
casualties. All of Asia Minor turned belly-up and let Alex and his
boys
go through. On his way past Phrygia, he came upon the Gordian knot.
Legend had that whomever could untie it could rule Asia. Alex took
his
sword and cut the thing in two. Everybody said that it was a fair
solution; thinking outside the box as it were. Besides, are you going
to argue with 35,000 Macedonians in full-battle array?

Continuing his southward expedition, Alex finally found the main
Persian army, commanded by King Darius III, at Issus, in northeastern
Syria. How many troops Darius's army had is debatable. Those who
think
it was 500,000 have been reading Alex’s spin doctors. There were a
grunch of Persians though. The Battle of Issus, in 333 BCE, ended in
a
great victory for Alexander. Cut off from his base, Darius hightailed
it northward, abandoning his mother, wife, and children to Alexander.
Boo! Hiss! Alex was a cultured gentleman and treated Darius’ family
better than Darius did.  Tyre and Gaza were next in 332 BCE and then
Egypt. It was a cake walk: the Egyptians were so tired of the danged
Persians.

He founded a city which he modestly named Alexandria in 332 BCE. He
picked up all of the territory formerly controlled by Carthage. In
331
BCE Alexander did a pilgrimage to the great temple of Amon-Ra, god of
the sun. Since the pharaohs were all sons of Amon, it was an
important
thing for Alex to fit in there. Evidently, Alex went over big at the
temple. This also fed into Alex’s belief of his own divine origin.

Babylon was his next objective. Pulling his forces back together at
Tyre, he now had 40,000 infantry and 7000 cavalry. Darius had been
hiding up twixt the Tigris and Euphrates. There were a mess of
Persians
there with Darius – chariots with scythes on their wheels, all sorts
of
bad dudes! At the Battle of Gaugamela (means "house of the camel),
October 1, 331 BCE, Alexander crushed them. Darius skedaddled again
like he did at Issus. Two of his own generals eventually put Darius
down. Had to, you know. The city of Susa with its enormous treasures
was soon conquered. Then, in midwinter, Alexander forced his way to
Persepolis, the Persian capital. After plundering the royal
treasuries
and taking other rich booty, he burned the city during a drunken
binge
and thus completed the destruction of the ancient Persian Empire.

Somehow he went very native and adopted Persian manners. He married
Eastern wives, namely, Roxana (died about 311 BCE), daughter of
Oxyartes of Sogdiana, and Barsine (or Stateira; died about 323 BCE),
the elder daughter of Darius. Fact is, he encouraged and bribed his
officers to take Persian wives. Oh and he really wanted the Greeks to
consider him a living god as the Persians seemed to; the Greeks did
not
buy it.

He now commanded what is now Afghanistan, Baluchistan, Bactria,
Turkistan, heck all of Central Asia, Northern Africa, Turkey, Egypt,
the Middle East. This he did in three years. To think it takes 40 %
of
American college students six years to complete a BS.  He then went
across the Indus River in 326 BCE and invade the Punjab. His forces
even beat elephant mounted troops. The Macedonians were getting
homesick and were balking at more conquering. Just wasn’t fun
anymore.
Alex had them build some boats, sailed down the Indus and up to the
Persian Gulf. He then marched his boys across the desert up to Media
–
a tough march which took its toll on the troops.

He got back to Babylon in 323 BCE just in time to contract a fever
and
die on June 13th. His will left his empire in his own words "to the
strongest." Nice touch, Alex! Guess that brought peace. His body,
encased in gold leaf, was later placed in a magnificent tomb at
Alexandria, Egypt.

His empire mostly was divided up into smaller chunks although his
son,
unborn at his death, by Roxana did get some support. The generals
wound
up carving it along the following: Egypt was left to the Ptolemy
line,
thus the connection to Cleopatra; the Seleucids ruled Asia, Asia
Minor
and Palestine; the Antigonids ruled in Macedonia and Greece. The same
countries conquered by Alexander were later mostly occupied by the
Romans, the cultural sons of this warrior Macedonian.

What have we learned? He who fights and runs away lives to fight
another day, but he who does it often gets offed by his own troops?
Don't burn down the houses of poets? Sometimes it just isn’t fun to
play anymore even if you win all the time? The microbe is mightier
than
the sword? How about drink makes us clumsy, stupid and wont to set
fire
to things?

If you are whomping the Persians, scaring off elephants laden with
archers, or just marrying your enemy’s daughter, and you want to
forward these missives to others, hey go man! Howsomever, please
leave
my name and sig. attached.

Thinking snakes in wombs is kind of yucky,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats


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