[Ansteorra] Elfsea Mud I mean Springfair

[C. Weed]

Sir Pendaren,

I'm standing up to say you have a lot of nerve, Sir Knight.  What's wrong
with you, Your Excellency?  Don't you know that there can  be no fun unless
we use 'troll' and 'farspeaker' and 'dragon' and 'smalls'?  To imply other
than this would make us less whacky to 'mundanes'... and remember: it's
*all* about being whacky to the 'mundanes'.  I mean, how else would we tell
us apart from them, Sir, I ask you?  Sure our dress is different, but what
if *they* decide to wear their tennis shoes and sweatpants on the same day
we have an event?  They have them, you know.  And spandex, too.

Using words that actually correspond historically with what they mean is
just a ludicrous position.  Any opportunity to use a word that doesn't
actually exist to your so-called "persona" should be taken at once or no fun
will be had at all.  As a matter of fact, I think the opposite tack of the
trend in question should be taken.  Namely, we should replace a lot of these
boring accurate words we already have in place in the sca with something a
bit more lively and colorful.  Here are some suggestions that I have with
our current word followed by the word that would provide more fun:

King / Mighty Armed Mush Brained Policy Wielder Prime
Queen / Inspirer of the Jubbly Bits and Keeper of the Rod of Power
Court / Tortuous Theatre Experience of Great Length Whereby the Greedy or
Emotional (or both) Get Excited (abreviated to Tteglwge-ob-ge, of course)
Baron/ Goat
Baroness/ Shiney Unicorn Guardian of the Fair Noselocks
Knight / MAMBPWP Wannabe
Master or Mistress (in regard to Pelicans and Laurels) / Closet MAMBWP
Wannabe

Also, I think we should rename the few period named groups in the kingdom
with more colorful and catchy nomenclatures.  Namely:

Crossroads Keep / Dragons Petrol Stop of the Blasted Waste of the Emaciated
Pegasus
Middleford / Militant Household of the Red, White, and Blue Gremlins of
Arching Doom of the Misty Dells

I'll likely have more to add on this subject later.

Yours,

Fang Batwing the Mighty of Clan Unicorn Zweihander of the Misty Dells of
Mellonheaded Dragonsbane
Squire to Sir Corwin


-----Original Message-----
From: ansteorra-admin at ansteorra.org
[mailto:ansteorra-admin at ansteorra.org]On Behalf Of Brian Martin
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2002 11:07 AM
To: 'ansteorra at ansteorra.org'
Subject: RE: [Ansteorra] Elfsea Mud I mean Springfair


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Good Mistress,

While I appreciate your fanciful tales, I'll need more evidence than a rock
that anyone could have carved with a hammer and chisel. If you find a troll
wandering around an event site somewhere and can bring it to me, then I'll
believe. (Perhaps you can lure one with honey cakes or something). Until
then, I advise that you not let a priest hear you talking about these things
or else he'll likely try to have you exorcised or something.

Your friend,
Pendaran

-----Original Message-----
From: C. L. Ward [mailto:gunnora at vikinganswerlady.org]
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2002 10:37 AM
To: ansteorra at ansteorra.org
Subject: RE: [Ansteorra] Elfsea Mud I mean Springfair


Pendaran said:
>Troll? There was a troll on that site? Good
>heavens, why didn't someone try to kill it?

Now wait a minute!

There are trolls that help fishermen in distress, trolls that kidnapped
people to make them their slaves, trolls that hated people and did anything
to harm them and trolls that loved people so much that they died for them.
The list is never ending and there are a lot of different types of trolls
that exist, small, big, bad and good. Trolls are usually bigger than humans,
rather stupid and in most cases greedy and cruel. However the tales also
tell of trolls that are smart, trolls that have knowledge beyond humans,
trolls that are sensitive and trolls that are more loyal than any other
being to humans.

Before you go killing any trolls, remember that when trolls experience
adversity they normally react with great anger and horrific revenge.  On the
other hand, when they want to repay someone's kindness towards them there is
no distance that they would not travel and no mountains they would not climb
in order to come to that persons aid. Some trolls are known to help people
on there own initiative and expect no rewards. Some stories tell of trolls
that eat humans while others tell of trolls that kidnap humans (males and
females) for sexual games and pleasure. It is not uncommon that a troll will
fall in love with a human and then kidnap that person. Usually the person is
held hostage in the troll cave and eventually die there. The troll that
loved that person then died in grief. Other tales tell of humans that fell
in love with trolls and went to live with them. In most cases like that the
human started to gradually change and in the end turned into a troll too.

It's a *much* better idea to leave out cream and honeycakes for the trolls,
then they'll be your friend.  You know the old saying, "trusty as a
troll" -- that comes from the loyalty a well-fed and friendly troll will
repay their neighbors!

>Of course, I still don't believe that those
>things exist, I don't care what Ivar and
>Gunorra say.

I can *show* you a troll.  There are several places in Iceland and elsewhere
where a troll fell asleep and was caught by the daylight and turned to
stone.  Here's one in Iceland:

http://www.alda.is/images/troll.jpg

::GUNNORA::

Who *regularly* leaves out milk, mead and honeycakes for my trolls, don't
*anyone* try and hurt them!  They watch over my horses and keep wolves away!

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