[Ansteorra] Asking for Comment Was: Ansteorra digest, Vol 1 #439 - 4 msgs

[Fitzmorgan at aol.com]

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In a message dated 4/12/2002 7:54:49 PM Central Daylight Time,
hpockets at gte.net writes:


> Goodness, Marc!  What kind of ogres are you messing with, Sirrah?  I am
> slowly becoming "one of those history types".  In mine own defense, those
> who know me also know i don't give a rip if their dream differs from mine -
> it is, after all, Their Dream.  But if they must Ask Me what i think of
> their garb, or their "persona story" or whatever, then i will try, gently
> always, to tell them, making suggestions of resources to check for more
> data, often sharing whatever i have.  I wonder now, who i have wounded with
> this approach.  If it's someone reading this list, please accept my humble
> apology - and let me know where i hurt you, so i can remove that behaviour
> from my catalog.
>
> Gerita

       This touches on an issue I'm always a bit uncomfortable with.  I'm
fairly well known as a bard in the North, which means that from time to time
new bards will come to me for advice and comment.  If they some to me saying
they are a new bard and want advice I'm OK with that.  It's when the come up
after they have performed and ask "What did you think?" that it gets tricky.
I try always to start with a positive comment.  Generally followed by an
awkward few questions where I try and figure out if this person is serious
about improving their craft and wants real advice on how to improve, or if
they are fishing for compliments and will be hurt if I say anything negitive.

       Don't get me wrong, nothing thrills me more than to meet a promising
new bard.  I'm honored that they came to me for help and am happy to help in
any way I can, but there is still that moment when you don't know what they
need from you and don't know what you can say.  In any performing art you
need to know what you do well so you can keep doing it, but your biggest
improvement will come from cutting away the things you are doing wrong.  Many
new bards have a core of talent but a few bad habits that if eliminated will
greatly improve their performance.  If I can tell them what they are doing
wrong and how to fix it, it seems a disservice not to tell them.  However
some people just aren't ready to hear that they are doing something poorly.
They need to get some confidence before they can handle criticism.    It's
hard to know what to say until you can figure out what they need from you at
that moment.
       I imagine this is a proublem that any artisan with a reputation has to
deal with, but in the performing arts som much more of a persons self image
is invested in it.  It's a scary thing to step out into the circle for the
first time.
       I haven't found a really good answer to how to handle this situation
because each case is different.  I have on occasion just asked the person
what they wanted.  That's not entirely satisfactorally either.  How many
people are going to say to your face that they just want you to say nice
things and not tell them what they are doing wrong?
       Personally as a performer I think that there is nothing more valuable
than a person who can identify and clearly explain to me what I am doing
wrong and is willing to do so.

Robert Fitzmorgan