[Ansteorra] Chilvary was History/Enculturation/Cliquishness....

[Elizabeta of Rundel]

I don't post much unless I have definite feelings on a
post or series of posts.  I have seen and experienced
almost all aspects of the situation being discussed
regarding the need for assistance and offers of
assistance.  There are more and more of us who have
youngsters and who are active in the SCA.  Many give
up offering because of rude rebuffs, although those I
have seen have been few and far between.  My Lord is
always willing to assist others when needed, and will
offer if he sees someone who appears to be
overburdened or need assistance, as will I.  I have 2
children myself, one age 10 (almost 11) and the other
just turned a year old.  When we bring the baby with
us, my focus tends to be on the baby and his needs,
and often my older son assists me.

I have seen many good suggestions for increasing the
likelihood of chivalrous behavior, from responding
politely to asking politely instead of just grabbing
with good intentions to teaching newcomers the
elements of chivalry.  What I would like to add, (and
I have seen this suggested in one of the earlier
posts) is that those of us with children need to teach
our children to offer assistance and accept a "no
thank you" politely.  They're going to learn from us
and they will learn best by example.  My son is always
willing to assist me with our loads, and if I see
someone whom he might also assist, i point them out to
him and he normally is fully willing to go offer
assistance, because he is naturally giving.  Perhaps
we might set up a youth group setup where children
learn the elements of chivalry... Although I have seen
more of late, many of the events I have gone to do not
have elements for children, except for things such as
(I hate to call it this, but it is what it most
closely resembles) glorified babysitting, where the
kids sit around doing cutouts and basically non-SCA
related things....  I am not cutting this type of
thing, because it allows the parents to enjoy the
event, but it would be more beneficial to the children
if the childrens activities were more SCA related..
for example, Have a Herald cut out a lot of heraldic
devices and teach the children the elements of
heraldry while assisting them to create their own coat
of arms that would be acceptable by SCA standards.
(by the way, I "borrowed" this idea from from Grimm
(formerly of our Canton of Rundel).

=====
In Service to the Dream,


Lady Elizabeta
Seneschal of Rundel
Minister of Children for Margrave/Vormund

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