[Ansteorra] History/Enculturation/Cliquishness....

damaris1 damaris1 at mail.ev1.net
Wed Apr 24 09:08:49 PDT 2002


Brian Martin wrote:

> Good ladies and all who read this,
>
> Sorry, but I've got to step in here. I don't know how many times I've
> offered to help a lady carry something only to be rebuffed. I've had
> actually had women get offended that I offered to help, telling me that they
> were *quite* capable of carrying something without a man's assistance. Which
> is it? Should we offer or not? How can we tell that you want help or don't?
> Body language doesn't do it, by the way - men, in general, aren't good at
> interpreting it.

People!!!  (note the gender neutral address)  There is such a thing as courtesy.  If you are a lady and a lord, knight, or baron offers to help you with your load, and if you have no need of his help, one need only say "thank you my lord, but I can handle it."  He's not telling you that you're a second class citizen by asking if you need help.   I've been offered help many times and have been grateful for it and did not feel like a traitor to my "60's women's lib/lesbian" sisters for accepting it.

> There have also been several occasions where I've helped various women carry
> various things throughout the day, only to be called down and criticized on
> the one time that I didn't see a lady with a burden or was unable to help.
> It seems to me that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't and will be
> criticized either way.

And another thing.  Many is the time I've seen a lord struggling with a load, or a knight leaving the list field burdened with armour, weapons, etc., and have helped him carry it.  On one such occasion the knight was very grateful and I told him, "see, knights aren't the only ones who get to be chivalrous".

> Awaiting the fire,
> Pendaran

I've got an asbestos blanket. :-)
Damaris



--
Damaris of Greenhill  --  "Quam probis, quam fides"
Susan Wieland -- Cleverly disquised as a responsible adult

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