[Ansteorra] A social aside (was tractions and problems)

[L T]

> I hope you will forgive my presumption for speaking out of place on this, a
>topic that clearly has nothing to do with me.

This topic has to do with everyone, and everyone's input is valid because
none of us live in a vacuum.

        <snip>

> On the other hand, there are many times Peers and people of importance (for
> whatever reason) -do- appear to be unapproachable (before people start
>jumping in to defend the Peerage - it's really not needed.  Yes, we all know
>that there are Peers who are eminently approachable and friendly.  I'm
> trying to look at an overall response to the whole.  If you don't agree with
> my conclusions, I would be happy to discuss it with you privately).
>Sometimes people are busy, tired, distracted, clueless, shy, and sometimes
>they ARE unapproachable (trust me, I'm accused of it too).

Ya mean you're human! GASP! ;-)

On the whole our Peers are approachable…and in comparison to many other kingdom
kingdom cultures - our Peers are highly approachable…in many other kingdoms
the barrier is much less permeable and to get obtain audience with a Peer you would
have to first go through their students…

                  <snipped analysis>

> Now, in such a system, it is -unthinkable- for say, me, a Gentleman yes, but
>still a "non-noble" to even _approach_ a noble without some great reason,
>much less talk to them and ask them how to do something.  Not because I
>suffer from "peer fear" (since clearly I don't :) ), but because it's
>socially inappropriate to do so.  They can approach me and talk to me to
>their hearts content, and I can respond to that, but that's all.

This one-sided communication also makes it hard for a Peer to get to know
you informally so that they can find out where your interests are…and if they
can help or learn something from you…it also makes it hard for them to learn
where your head is really at (instead of where you  "play" at) to determine if
you are at a level they feel is worthy of an award in their estimation….
It also does not allow for them to gather enough information or open communication
channels to determine if you wish  to be or should be one of their brethren…

	         <snip>

> Most people just happen to SEE Peers as being different and more important than they are.

In the context of our Medieval/Renaissance side they are because of the
"classist" nature of  our structure and even if you do not respect the person…you
 should give deference to their station…but in the context of our business  side
 Peers usually are people with lots of experience and know how…but are just as fallible
 as non-peers….

                      <snip>

>We really want to be just "one of the herd". This stress is made more difficult by
>the fact that different Peers have different views on the topic.

Tho  I've only been a Peer for a little over 2 years…I have found it more difficult to try to deal
with the general citizen's view of what my responsibilities and actions as a Peer should be
than those from my brother and sister peers…

Personally…with the feedback I've gotten…the same people who found me unapproachable
before I was a peer, still do…and now expect me to solicit their opinion and suggestions and
no matter how unapproachable, unavailable,uninvolved or antagonistic they are…others tell
me how approachable I am…and are glad that I don't "put on airs" and  are happy that I do
silly things  in the middle of the night…they say it gives them hope and makes them feel that they
can be heard.

Also, I have found that if Royalty, Peers, and Nobility can't have times and places within
what we do to  relax and "be common," we loose them…because it sux to have to be
"on" all the time…they came here to play and have lots invested in keeping it a place
that they can play…

> Now, having gone through all this, I'd like to make a suggestion, if I may.
> You will recall that I said I wasn't going to tell anyone the
>responsibilities of the peer, and I'm still not.  Yes, I have my opinions,
>but that's all they are.

And my opinions are just that…opinions…I'd like to hear yours because it
may help me to firm up mine.

>I'm just going to point out that if the Peerage
>can't come to a consensus about how they should be viewed, treated or
>approached, the Populace certainly isn't in the position to do it for them.

The Laurels are ones closest to consensus…because for the last 7 plus years they have
actively tried to define what it is to be "a Laurel" and to educate their brethren
on how to interact with the populace.

The Chivalry doesn't seem to have a consensus…but they have the greatest expectations to
live up to because of the pervasive "Knight in shining armour" mythos.

The Pelicans…as Her Grace stated at this past Coronation are "the mystic order." Though we
discuss from time to time what the "job duties" of a Pelican are.…it is hard to codify  the job
duties because each of us has served in different ways. (therefore hard to determine how we should
be viewed, treated or approached)

General guidelines would be…view them as acknowledged experts in a field, treat them with
the respect due their station, and approach them when you have a question, or to help, or if
you want to know their view.

And as in modern day etiquette…address them in formal situations with formal titles…and in
informal situations…address them formally and allow them to establish a more informal
communication if they wish…

>Thank you for your time.

Thank you for yours.

>Diarmaid O'Duinn/Marc Carlson

Lorraine DeerSlayer

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