[Ansteorra] Fw: [SCA-HUMOR] Outlandish Humor

[Seanan mac Tighearnain]

----- Original Message -----
> I actually found this on the list for the Shire of Vulcan's Forge, which
> is in my old hometown in Alabama, and they, obviously, got it from
> (somewhere else), but I felt it should be shared.  I hope the folks in
> Outlands don't mind.
>
> Jared
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> Who says Kingdom level folk have no sense of humour?  I found this
> surfing around one night, and it is used here by gracious permission.
> This was actually posted as the main page for the Kingdom of the
> Outlands for 24 hours - April 1, 2002...
>
> An Overview of an Ancient Society
> Dr. Albert Calloway, Ph.D.
> April 1, 2402 -University of Athens. Athens, Greece
>
>
> The Culture of the Out Lands
>
> Known only as the Out Lands, this primitive society was lost to
> antiquity until only recently. Through careful research and the help of
> numerous other educational organizations, we have been able to piece
> together what this tribal society was like.
> The name, Out Lands translates literally to 'The Lands That Are Out'.
> They were outside what is now the Society of the Great Plains and their
> territory butted up against the Rock Mountains. While recent evidence
> shows similar societies in the Country of Hollywood, there has been no
> evidence to show that these people were the same as those that are
> discussed here.
> These 'Outer' people, or Outerlanders, lived in primitive village
> societies. While we still have little evidence as to the daily life for
> these people, we have significant amount of evidence as to their public,
> 'ritual' lives.
> The Outerlanders lived in a type of Monarchy, ruled by a King and Queen.
> Unlike Pre-Ancient cultures, their King and Queen were not decided by
> bloodlines but by a very strict ritual held twice a year. In this
> ritual, each man in the tribe was brought forward to receive the
> 'Whomping Stick'. In a series of sharp blows, the new leader was the one
> who remained long enough to receive all their blows.
> While there is no evidence that families ruled in succession, there is
> one exception to this rule. A King Artan appears in the ancient rolls
> five times. After careful research it was determined that Artan and his
> four sons (also named Artan) each held the title of King once.
>
> There is very little artistic evidence of what these Outerlanders looked
> like, but there is much written evidence of several of the more notable
> people.
> Featured prominently was a person named Laurel. Evidence shows that
> Laurel had a large following in the Outerlanders society. Several times
> a year rituals, known as Laurel Circles were held. Dr. Halzenberg
> believes that Laurel was actually a deity. His research teams have
> uncovered many emblems of  Laurel on jewelry and on ritual clothing
> items. We hope to find more information this summer on our dig to put
> this issue to rest.
> Also of note in documents was a man named Harold. There is little
> evidence as to what Harold looked like but most of our research has
> shown that Harold was regarded as a very loud man. He would ride around
> the Out Lands on a white deer and give names to the people that he met.
> Some people chose their own names (as we are accustomed to) but Harold
> had the final say as whether they would be called by that name.
>
> Warfare featured highly in the life of Outerlanders. At least twice a
> year the tribes gathered to fight for land. The most notable of these
> skirmishes was a battle in the Desert of the Phoenixz. Here at a battle
> called Star Wars (no relation to the Church of Lucas) the Outerlanders
> fought the army of the tribe of the Atenfelters. The outcome appeared
> largely ceremonial because no Out Lands colonies have been found in the
> area of the Desert of the Phoenixz.
> Fighting took place with ritual whomping sticks and shields made of
> metal. Painted upon the shield were intimidating commands to opponents
> such as Stop or Yield.
> The skirmishes were scheduled by the royalty of the Out Lands and the
> Atenfelters. None of the skirmishes were permitted to go after dark so
> the kings could get a full night sleep. At the end of the skirmish a man
> named Pointz determined the winner and both armies returned home.
>
> In the Out Lands, the arts were highly recognized. In fact, there was
> one specific person who has appointed to oversee all things produced by
> the Outerlanders. This person, the Arts and Crafts Minister, traveled
> around the region to make sure that these wares met a certain standard.
> In specific religious ceremonies the minister brought artisans together
> to critique their work and bestow honors upon those who put much time
> and sacrifice into their creations.
> Outerlanders produced quality artifacts in metal, wood, ceramics and an
> unknown material called ductope. Many of these artifacts are now on
> special display in the Ancient Civilizations wing of our University's
> museum.
>
> While our archeological digs have only just begun, we feel we have
> enough information and evidence to be able to make certain statements
> about Outlander Society. This society thrived at a time when all around
> it, the second dark age had already begun. Physical evidence shows us a
> vibrant society that loved to create works of art and that treasured its
> culture and ideals. In the months to come we hope to be able to present
> more information and artifacts on this once unknown civilization.


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