[Ansteorra] JOKE How to become a Laurel

[Nancy Wederstrandt]

DISCLAIMER:  If you really do everything on this note I will come back and 
hurt you (grin).

THere are some serious bits but I hope you look between the lines and see 
what I'm trying to say (grin).

Part of a longer letter.


How to Become A LAUREL

1. Hang out with the Laurels.  Go over and make friends with one of them 
and then get them to help you meet some of the others.  Learn to talk to 
them about things other than "Look at this"  and (my personal 
favorite)  "Can I ask you a question"    Ask them how they are doing and 
what they are doing.  Act like you are interested in talking to them.  Tell 
them they look nice or smell good or  look like they have lost weight( too 
much judging).  Whatever you do, don't play the "Stump the Laurel" question 
- you know find the one obscure thing in an area they know something about 
and then play it like a trump card by asking them what it is.  That's a 
fast road to having a Laurel remember you for the wrong reason.  Don't go 
up to them when they are changing (or recovering from a hangover or being 
ill at an event.) and ask - "Could you look at my work?"  It won't go well 
with you.

2. Don't be over proud of your work or too humble.  It's your work.  You're 
proud of it.  Be aware that you've only been doing it for a month and you 
know you shouldn't have you a glue gun to hold that helm together but don't 
think the person judging it won't catch on.  They might not be really open 
to saying it's a wonderful piece of work.  If they are too rude go see the 
Laurel you met in response to number one and act surprised that the other 
Laurel was mean to you.  Say you know that Laurels are nice and maybe the 
person had a bad day but could they find out if the paper mache elephant 
was really an eyesore.  If you've done the first rule, the problem should 
go away.
If you don't get feedback at all and you are angry because you want some, 
go up to the Head Laurel (currently Jehanne or Kassilda both are winners 
but a couple of others are good as well - Gunnora is a plus at finding the 
Laurel who lost their Pen) and ask them to point you out the Laurel with 
the fear of exposure to bad penmanship.   They will no doubt squirm a 
little (Laurels have their own feet of clay) but should talk to you.  Or 
you might hear about their demise at a later date.  (Laurels do have 
monitors - usually self imposed - ask any of us.)

3.  Be friendly to other artisans.  Whatever you do, don't tell your friend 
the Laurel that the other Artisan is crap and you are the living embodiment 
of everything pre-conquest english.  You don't know if the other artisan is 
learning to become a Laurel as well.  The other artisans sometimes have 
tricks up there sleeve that will save your butt.  If you've been rude to 
the other Artisan they may tell you hot glue guns are period thereby 
dooming you to several other problems.

4. 4. Don't make fun of Laurels publically (especially spelling issues) -- 
only at parties where you know everyone.  If you learn enough of the 
Laurels based on Rule one, they will be at your party and will help out by 
telling you stuff about the other Laurels.  We tell funny stories about 
other Laurels to make ourselves look good. (Trust me).  Don't treat Laurels 
as part of the Clone from the Star Wars Clone War, we all aren't the 
bounty-hunter.  Some of us are different bounty hunters. (grin).

5.  When at a large judging competition, take a glass of water over to a 
LAurel occasionally and make them drink it.  We forget o drink lots of 
water.  That affects judging.

And the most important rule.   Always laugh at a Laurel's joke.

Clare R. St.John