[Ansteorra] Showing appreciation vs. poltiics

Vicki Marsh XaraXene at attbi.com
Sun May 4 14:14:20 PDT 2003

Xene here, Leaping into the fray....

As a retired landed noble, although not a founding one, I understand the
feelings of not being appreciated after you step down.  A good landed noble
is always thanking others for their hard work, giving out largesse, shaking
hands, hugging people, and being a combination good host, parent, confessor,
general, and Division Manager.  Once the mantle of responsibility is handed
over, there is very little thanks for all that you have done - or so it
seems. The phone stops ringing off the wall, and you wander around events,
not quite knowing what you are there for.  After feeling so useful for
years, all of a sudden, you feel very useless and unwanted.

Some people believe that the Court Barony is the only thanks that you really
need, but it's not the fulfillment that you really seem to expect - or need.

We "landless white trash", as we affectionately call ourselves, have to
learn to accept the quiet thanks that come our way - the phone calls for
advice, the lords and ladies who still help you carry your stuff, the
genuine nods of respect, the dedicated friends who allow you the space to
recover your life once you step down - these are the thanks that we have to
open our eyes to see.

It's very zen in theory, but you cannot grasp the waterfall in the clenched
fist of anger.  You must open up your hand, and experience gratitude as it
flows past you.

I found that people will still look to you for leadership, and if you still
have the time and energy, you can be an effective leader - without
interfering with the new landed nobility.  You have to find that area of the
SCA that you truly love to be involved in, and sponsor it.  Run your little
area well and learn to enjoy the SCA again.  Sometimes, the "thank you's"
just take a little time and distance in order to hear them.

In Service,

Mistress Xene

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