[Ansteorra] RE: Blogs?

[Christie Ward]

>Just trying to get some info.
>What is the appeal of Blogs?

A blog combines the same catharsis and outlet for one's feelings and 
thoughts that a diary does, and at the same time it has elements that a 
casual gathering of close friends in a living room conversation does.

I use my blog for informal chatting with friends, usually over 
inconsequentials.  Sometimes I use it to blow off angst.  It's certainly 
cheaper than paying a psychologist.

>Do people who have Blogs think that no one will read them and put their own 
>spin on things?

Any adult with normal mental function should understand that anything that 
is committed to writing in any form, on paper, email, blogs, webpage or 
whatever can and will get "leaked" and eventually everyone will know about 
it.

Unfortunately, from observation I can tell you that I've observed a number 
of people over 21 who appear in all other respects to have normal 
intelligence are stupid about this point.  People are shocked and appalled 
to find that their super-secret email got cross-posted all over the planet.

Yes, there are copyright and privacy issues involved.  I'm not talking about 
right or wrong here - I'm pointing out that if you write it and post it, 
whether or not you *should* have privacy is immaterial.  It *is* gonna get 
out there.  And if you don't take that into account when you write it, you 
are just being willfully dumb.

The only answer is to never write stuff that you would be embarassed to have 
people find out that you wrote.  If you can't say whatever it is to a 
person's face, you'd better be cautious about being a cowardly sneak and 
saying it behind their back, because in today's information age chances are 
very good it will crawl back and bite you in the rear.

If you start out by having a face-to-face chat with the person and saying 
whatever it is to their face, then !voila! the whole problem of email 
leaking or the wrong person seeing your blog is solved.

If you actually *have* to say or write something that you can't bring 
yourself to say publicly, then that's a candidate for the psychotherapist or 
the confessional.  Say it to the counsellor.  Say it to your lawyer.  Say it 
to your priest.  There it will stay, usually, barring a warrant.

>What do you do if someone takes your blog out of context?

Best strategy: Blow it off.

Next best strategy: If someone is taking your words out of context in a 
public forum somewhere, for example, misquoting you or quoting you out of 
context on an email list like this one, just post a calm and factual reply - 
"To those who saw the earlier post by X which quoted me as saying Y, please 
note that this is misquoted/taken out of context and that before people jump 
to conclusions about what I did or did not say, they should take a look at 
my actual post, in context, which is available at URL."

If it's not a public forum, other than the blog itself, then go talk to the 
person about it.  Posting a rebuttal to the blog is fairly useless, as the 
person can normally remove your comments or block you from posting.

>How do you let someone know if something on a blog hurts you?

Just like any other situation.  You should go, in person, direct to the 
person and talk to them about it, calmly and honestly, face-to-face.

But also consider why it matters to you.  Is this someone whose opinion 
affects your love life, your income, your place of residence?  Does their 
opinion make a difference in whether you are employed or in how much money 
you make?  If not, it's small potatoes.

We want people to like and respect us.  Some people will not like us, some 
people will not respect us, and we all individually have to learn that (a) 
this is a fact of life and (b) to spend emotional energy, time, and angst 
only on the opinions of the people whose opinions have real relevance to our 
lives.  Stephen R. Covey has a great discussion of this in "The Seven Habits 
of Highly Effective People".

>Personally I would much rather talk to people on the phone or in person or 
>write my private thoughts in a diary than something that can be accessed by 
>anyone with a internet connection.

And you have the freedom to do just that.  Just as other people have the 
freedom to use blogs, or billboards, or skywriting.  You can't control them, 
you only control you.

>Do you think that Officers, nobles, peers etc should be held to higher 
>standard on a blog? If so why?

A blog isn't the SCA.  The SCA's role is not about regulating people's 
interpersonal behavior outside the organization.  Some SCA members fail to 
pay child support and beat their wives and cheat and steal, too - it's not 
the SCA's business to police those things as long as it's not done within an 
SCA context.

I *expect* a peer to act in a mature and responsible fashion that is not 
something you can take on and off like a suit of armor, so *in general* I 
expect peers to act responsibly and maturely in their private lives outside 
of the SCA. But peers, nobles, officers, and hoi polloi are all human 
people, too.

People make mistakes, people blurt out things they shouldn't, and people can 
sometimes act really dumb when normally that's not like them.  People have 
bad days, people drink to much and then say things they shouldn't, and 
sometimes people just snap.  I expect a peer to take responsibility for it 
when they *do* stick their foot in their mouth and make amends as they may 
later.  I *hope* others will as well.  I *recognize* that not all peers, 
nobles, or other people will always live up to my expectations.

The only person whose behavior *I* control is my own.  And I have my hands 
full trying to keep my own foot out of my mouth.

If someone does something that I get mad about, I go to them and discuss it. 
It may not resolve the problem, but it is the mature thing to do, and I feel 
that people have a moral obligation to take problems directly to the person 
and not whine about it behind their back. (I also recognize that a startling 
number of people would rather whine, no matter how useless this is as a 
tactic for actually accomplishing anything useful.)

>Perhaps these are easy or hard questions. Just trying to figure out the 
>whole Blog concept and idea.

Blog or don't blog, it's up to you.  It's not necessary to understand the 
whole concept, just decide what you want to do about it for yourself.

>If problems arise from a blog comment what do you think is the best way to 
>correct that situation?

As many others have stated, if someone posts something in their blog that 
bothers you, go talk to them about it, in person, face-to-face.  Explain 
calmly and factually why you felt angry or hurt about what they said.  
Before you ever go to them, decide in advance what, exactly, you want them 
to do about it.  If you want an apology, ask for it.  Also recognize that 
you may not get what you want.  In that case, that person has shown their 
quality (or lack thereof) to you, and you just get on with your life and 
don't worry about them.

Some of my thoughts about having this type of discussion can be found at 
http://www.florilegium.org/files/SCA-SOCIOLOGY/Confrontation-art.html

Also see my article on "Being Proactive", written for people in A&S 
competitions, at http://laurel.ansteorra.org/articles/Proactive.htm

Honestly, if the blogger isn't your parent, spouse, or boss, what they have 
to say isn't really affecting your life much.  Put it in context.

::GUNNVOR::

Who does blog at http://www.livejournal.com/users/gunnora/ but I don't say 
much that's interesting there.