[Ansteorra] Courtesy challenge

Elizabeth Ellis weavedog91 at sbcglobal.net
Mon Oct 2 16:14:28 PDT 2006


I get very uncomfortable when I hear "ladies should let gentlemen carry stuff for them" and things of that ilk.  Now before anybody gets offended, please let me explain. I'm not talking about the action of offering to carry something for a another person - that's basic good manners which everyone should pursue.  If a person does not want the assistance, then they should courteously refuse and then thank the other person for their kind offer of assistance.  What I am uncomfortable with is that it is socially acceptable that men offer assistance and women accept, but when a woman offers to help a guy carry something lots of people still seem to think it's strange.  I don't like how one sided that is. We should all, regardless of gender, be willing to help someone in need of assistance.  Falling back on the old "only guys do this, and only gals do that" is a cop out when it comes to common courtesy.  
   
  Ladies, here's a challenge - for every offer of assistance you receive, offer assistance yourself.  It doesn't matter if you accepted the original offer of help or not - just pass on the courtesy to somebody else.  Step up when you see some poor guy struggling to carry too much armor to the list field (or back to camp after a hard day of fighting).  Or some poor lady doing the same (whether it's armor or other things).
   
  Guys, here's your challenge - Because so many of you seem gun shy about rejection, do the following: for every refusal you receive from a lady for an offer of assistance, go out and offer to assist somebody else.  It doesn't matter if it's a gal or a guy you offer help too.  You'll never get over being gun shy if you don't Just Do It.  
   
  Now here's the capper for everybody - either accept an offer of help courteously, or decline courteously. Is this so hard?  If you are the one offering the declined help, don't read more into it than was intended.  Just because a gal (or guy) declines, doesn't mean they are rejecting you as a person so stop taking it that way! And if you are the one being offered the help, recognize the courtesy that it is and then decline in the most courteous way you possibly can.  Show the person that even though you decline you still highly appreciate and value their kind offer. 
   
  Wouldn't it be fun if we all turned this into a choreographed dance of sorts?  How cool it would be if everyone tried to outdo each other as to who could be most courteous, whether it be in the offer, acceptance, or decline.  Somebody mentioned romance earlier - well, if you want romance (and you know you do) then that's the way to go about it.
   
  Mistress Corrinne
  ...yeah, I'm an old biddy, and if you make something of it I'll whallop you with my cane.  But I promise to courteously apologize afterwards and then offer you assistance to the nearest chair....<VBG>
   



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