[Ansteorra] A poem for you

Chelsea Williams baby_sis_83 at hotmail.com
Thu Sep 7 20:03:55 PDT 2006


The Epic of the Cactus and the King

Also known as

The "Royal Pain" of Melee and Taking a Bard to war



Written as the sun rose the dawn following the Heavy Melee

during the Gothic Wars, which did occur during the reign of their Majesties

King Aaron MacGregor and Queen Britta MacGregor

Rulers of the Stellar Kingdom of Ansteorra

by the Ronin sohei Takayama Harukaze no Tosa

who currently holds the honorary title of Bard of Mendersham

in honor of the glorious exploits of our valiant, and most merciful King on
the field of battle

during the aforementioned melee and war.



This same piece was also performed during the closing court of the
aforementioned war,

by the composing bard at the request of his Royal Majesty King Aaron
MacGregor.



The air was still that autumn day

as the widow's army made its way

across the fields of Ansteorra.



Master Airaklee looked angrily

upon the sight before him.

How dare this widow come to fight,

when all he wanted was to see his wife.



Two armies now formed in rows

as archers quickly nocked their bows.

A battle was looming, both sides ready.



The order was given for the battle to begin,

both sides confident that they would win,

and let battle prove their cause.



Now scores of arrows filled the air,

but heavy fighters do not care

about that rain of foam tipped death

or the sting of rattan upon their heads.



Like two angry waves the shield walls collide

and quickly many heavies died.

One side gave way as they sometimes do

as fighters hollered, "I'm dead don't hit me you fool!"



NOW ENTER OUR HERO!  (Random cheers from the populace.)



The widow's army, a massive hoard

armed with spears and rattan swords

made their way through the gap

and killed some archers with just a tap.



Our Hero gripped his sword and shield.

He was the KING and WOULD NOT YIELD!

Aaron MacGregor was his name

and soon this battle would win him fame,

but maybe not the kind he wanted.  (Funny looks and snickers from the Bard.)



King Aaron was young, nimble, and quick

and he wielded a really nasty stick.

He had a plan to win the day

and so he boldly made his way towards his destiny.



King Aaron fought, ran, and slowly gave ground

as one by one he cut his foes down.

But there was one foe that he did not see

and soon it would cause him much agony.



No one knows how it started, but this much is known.

The air was filled with a painful groan.

King Aaron cried out in agony,

"What the heck just happened to me?

What kind of knight would have the gall

to strike the king once he did fall?

What kind of fool would hit me now

that I am here upon the ground?"



Chirurgeons came from all around

when they heard the call of fighter down.

The assassins mark was easy to find.

It was king's armor of cactus hide.



Yes, a prickly pear upon the field

decided it's thorny pads it would wield.

Oh what a humiliating  form of attack

to have a cactus stuck in your back!



At a call for help four fighters came

hoping they would spare their king pain

as one by one each thorn they plucked,

but some did break and now their stuck.



So now you know what happened that fateful day

when our noble king on his stomach lay

with his back bristled like a porcupine

but being our king he did not whine.



Yet in the end King Aaron walked off the field

still holding his trusty sword and shield,

but in everyone's mind their was no doubt

that it was the cactus that won this bout!





    _____

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