[Ansteorra] Telling someone that what they are doing is not period

[Lisa]

My Lady, there are people that regardless of how it is phrased or presented
are going to take offense to any form of criticism.  Having said this, the
goal is to introduce them to more period styles and materials without
offense correct?  I suspect that the first question would be to find out if
they wish to be more period or if they are satisfied with the level of
"periodness" that they are currently at.  Regarding materials.... perhaps
suggest that if they would like a list of period materials and colors and
sources for reasonably priced period materials you would be willing to make
some suggestions.  Offer sources for more period styles and patterns, but
don't be hurt or offended if they don't seem to want your input.  I am
currently working on an elizabethan dress, and am constantly doing research
for accuracy as well as talking to others whom are known for their
elizabethan garb.  Often people prefer to seek out the knowledge rather than
having it brought to them.  I realise my dress will not be fully period, but
I plan to do the best I can with the resources I have.

Lady Elizabeta of Rundel

----- Original Message -----
From: <willowjonbardc at juno.com>
To: <loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org>; <northern at ansteorra.org>;
<ansteorra at ansteorra.org>; <elfsea at ansteorra.org>; <steppes at ansteorra.org>
Sent: Tuesday, September 12, 2006 9:05 PM
Subject: [Ansteorra] Telling someone that what they are doing is not period


> Greetings everyone
>
> I have a special request of you. How can we tell people that what they
> are doing is not correct? That it is not period, but at the same time
> not make them feel bad. Many newer people are telling me that they are
> living in fear because they think their costumes, art, performances or
> behavor are going to be criticized and they are going to be told that
> they are not in period.
>
>  Now as a citizen of the SCA I feel it is my duty to inform people
> that their work may be better if they would stay in period. I have
> tried to tell them in a nice way. I have failed many times. Sometimes
> I am too soft. There was the young lady who was planning on beading a
> piece of polyester double knit. I warned her that taking that much
> time on double knit meant it would not get the best scores at the A&S
> competitions. She said she liked the design and she didn't plan on
> entering A&S. Of course 3 years later she did enter it and got points
> knocked because it was double Knit. She left the SCA over it. I failed
> with my own husband. I told him his work was not period and he is
> still mad at me. Sometimes I have helped people. There was a lady who
> in the everyday world won many awards for her needlework, but she was
> getting nowhere in SCA. I suggested she change her designs to
> something period and she received many awards for her work. When I
> told her that her designs were wrong she cried, but a year later when
> she got her Thistle she hugged me.
>
> We need to tell people the rules of the game, but we need to do it in
> a nice way. Does anyone remember a time when someone set you on the
> right path and did in a way that made you feel good? I would like to
> hear about their techniques. Courtesy is one of the pillars of the
> magic that is Ansteorra. We are smart people. We need to figure out
> how to tell people things without hurting their feelings.
> Duchess Willow de Wisp
>
>
>
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