[Ansteorra] Telling someone that what they are doing is not period

[Donna Nesbit]

Greetings,
   
  Thank you Duchess Willow for bringing up this topic.  I have seen several newcomers in recent times be put off because someone questioned their garb.  
  I am in a group that is trying to bring in newcomers and restart a group.  We are trying to be very cognizant of our demeanor and all of the comments thus far have helped.
   
  One thing many people must understand is that some of what is period just would not work today.  Recently, I saw a book on the history of undergarments.  In times it was quite acceptable to reveal parts of the body that we would get in trouble for revealing today.  Also, some silhouettes that were considered beautiful in the past are not appealing today.  We must remember that we are looking at past dressing through modern day eyes.
   
  Lady Penelope Miriam Darling
   
  

"willowjonbardc at juno.com" <willowjonbardc at juno.com> wrote:
  Greetings everyone

I have a special request of you. How can we tell people that what they 
are doing is not correct? That it is not period, but at the same time 
not make them feel bad. Many newer people are telling me that they are 
living in fear because they think their costumes, art, performances or 
behavor are going to be criticized and they are going to be told that 
they are not in period.

Now as a citizen of the SCA I feel it is my duty to inform people 
that their work may be better if they would stay in period. I have 
tried to tell them in a nice way. I have failed many times. Sometimes 
I am too soft. There was the young lady who was planning on beading a 
piece of polyester double knit. I warned her that taking that much 
time on double knit meant it would not get the best scores at the A&S 
competitions. She said she liked the design and she didn't plan on 
entering A&S. Of course 3 years later she did enter it and got points 
knocked because it was double Knit. She left the SCA over it. I failed 
with my own husband. I told him his work was not period and he is 
still mad at me. Sometimes I have helped people. There was a lady who 
in the everyday world won many awards for her needlework, but she was 
getting nowhere in SCA. I suggested she change her designs to 
something period and she received many awards for her work. When I 
told her that her designs were wrong she cried, but a year later when 
she got her Thistle she hugged me. 

We need to tell people the rules of the game, but we need to do it in 
a nice way. Does anyone remember a time when someone set you on the 
right path and did in a way that made you feel good? I would like to 
hear about their techniques. Courtesy is one of the pillars of the 
magic that is Ansteorra. We are smart people. We need to figure out 
how to tell people things without hurting their feelings. 
Duchess Willow de Wisp



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