[Ansteorra] Wanting Awards-forced award

[gail young]

Why would someone who is obviously doing the job of a peer not want to be recognized as one?
  gwyneth

Michael Silverhands <silverhands at sbcglobal.net> wrote:
  
On Sep 28, 2006, at 3:49 AM, Robert Fitzmorgan wrote:
> Our culture views it as somehow disreputable to openly seek 
> awards,
> recognition and praise, but at the same time we find it difficult 
> to believe
> that someone really isn't interested in those things.

A real-life example: someone whom I know was being considered for the 
Pelican's circle. One of the circle knew that the person (I'll use 
the genderless "Pat" to protect their privacy) had previously 
expressed a wish not to be made a Peer, so he discretely asked Pat. 
Pat's answer was clear, succinct, and unequivocal: "If I am offered a 
Pelican, I will refuse. If I am called into court to be made a 
Pelican, I will leave the SCA and never return."

We got the hint. Sometimes you have to hit us over the head with a 
clue stick. Sometimes more than once.

But it's as you said:
> ... When someone
> says they don't want an award, our culture has trained us to 
> interpret that
> as meaning that they in fact do want it but are refusing it because 
> they
> don't want to appear greedy, proud or whatever.
>

Because they couldn't *possibly* mean what they said, that they don't 
want the award. And if our hero actually *does* refuse it, we don't 
understand that and try to come up with our own explanations for why 
that might be so (which ties back to Sir Lyonel's comments of the 
other day about ascribing motives and labels to people, to explain 
behavior that we don't understand).

We *are* a funny lot, aren't we? :-)

By the way... a quibble: you used a common turn of phrase, "refuse 
the honour", which I assume you used as a harmless figure of speech. 
But in this case I will beg to differ with that word choice. You 
aren't refusing "honor", because that's a gift that only you can give 
yourself and has nothing to do with awards. For most awards, what you 
are refusing is "glory" -- and I think that's the point that "Pat" 
was trying to make.

For a Peerage, of course, you are also refusing appointment to an 
office (for life) in addition to the glory. :-)

Michael Silverhands
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