[Ansteorra] Thing I have found useful in dealing with problems

[Simone Ui'Dunlaingh]

Sage advice thank you your grace

Simone

On 2/26/07, willowdewisp at juno.com <willowdewisp at juno.com> wrote:
> Over my many years I have had many conflicts with people and I am proud to say that even the worse of them have been able to work with me later. It is very easy to get our egos involved when we are trying to get things done. It is very easy for us to forget and attack people rather than idea. This leads to messy problem. We need to remember that we are like a family and everyone is important to someone. If we do the kind of politics that drive people out we might drive the single individual that keeps someone we care for in.
> Here are some of the guild line I use to get myself heard.
> Getting along in your Local Groups<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
> By Duchess Willow de Wisp
>
> First I would like to state when you have creative people you have conflict. SCA people all have their own opinions. In my many years of interaction in the SCA I have gotten into conflict with my local group many, many times. Here are rules I try to follow when having problems.
>
> The first thing you do is think about you are saying and try saying it in a different way.  I recently had some ideas that no one were looking at. I tried for the fourth time to explain myself and finally got through to people. It was very frustrating, but I kept pitching. Often the best place to explain what you are talking about is to talk to people in a quiet place. Try one to one.
>
> Do not yell or use unpleasant politics. This not only turns the main people you are talking to off it turns newer people who may be willing to listen. Remember there is a high turn over in the SCA so if you wait long enough you will have a completely new group of people to pitch your ideas to.
>
> Do look at your ideas. If people understand them and are still refusing to do them then find out why? Sometimes we have to make a lot of little steps before we can do the big idea. People my just not be ready for your ideas and ideals. Don't wear yourself trying to do things that just haven't come into their own.
>
> Don't let your ego get in the way. Is it more important to get your idea through or is more important that it be "your" idea?  When we share our ideas with many people and the idea become everyone idea there is a greater chance of the idea becoming a reality.
>
> Help other people with their "special projects". Most people are willing to help you if you have helped them. Often we have to take turns using the resources of our groups. Be careful not to become a negative force. When we become bitter and refuse to help others then we get stuck in bad situations. The golden rule is alive and well in the SCA. What you do comes back to you.
>
> Please remember that the only true power in the SCA is in the hands of the people who make fun and magic. If you make good things happen you will become important to other people and they will give you influence. One of the Courtly virtues is being "Joyese". People who live up to medieval values of being joyful and courteous go far in the SCA.
>
> Don't get sandbagged with the officers. If you have problems with them and they won't let you try something, step back and look for an autocrat that might let you do something at their event. People often won't do something for you, but if you are willing to pay for it and run it they are happy to let you try it.
>
> Please remember the SCA is a place where we try to live better.  Do not do anything that tarnishes your Dream. Our own actions destroy the magic of the SCA far more than others behavior.
>
>
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-- 
Muirenn ingen Senáin uí Dúnlaing.
---------------------------------
We will be with you in the
fellowship of the spirit, and you
will surley meet some of us
as you TRUDGE the road of
happy destiny--bigbook 164